Before I agree to sign on for 2022 I want to read the small print

Why...

It is good riddance to bad rubbish that was 2021. Everyone seems to have suffered. In my case, multiple surgeries, a law suit and a multi-coloured silk shirt my wife decided looked like a kaftan on me and nearly led to divorce!

I used to think ‘annus horribilis’ was a polite way of describing a bad case of piles. However, 2021 will take some beating as a pretty grim year and in fact a pretty grim decade. The only roaring of this Century 20’s is from frustrated revellers and travellers!

Much as I look forward to the sunny uplands of 2022, I can envision the lookalike of  Harry Potter character Dobby, a.k.a Putin taking a bite out of the Ukraine and depending on the West’s reaction, Panda Xi helping himself to a new form of Chinese takeaway, Taiwan.

Then we have a Winter Olympics in which all western dignitaries have stamped their diplomatic foot and refused to partake of Dimsum and a glass of Baijiu with the hosts. In addition, despite locking down anything that moves, COVID seems intent on derailing that spectacle.

...and another thing

So what have we got coming up to put a smile on our faces?  A World Cup played out in a sandpit and Great Britain’s glorious Platinum Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II.

For my East Coast American friends, forget the Met… on June 18th the Coney Island Mermaid Parade is making a return after a two year absence. Or if that is culturally too rich a visual feast, why not pop into the Bad Art Museum in Boston. Anything I ever attempted to draw should be in there. As a kid I could not even draw the stickman logo from the TV series The Saint!

My British mates are on tenterhooks for both a new Doctor Who and James Bond. Both franchises ruined in my view by new age PC. As we have had a woman Doctor Who maybe it will be a gender fluid Doctor, Doctor Which?

As for Bond… the only way to save it is to return to the 1960’s and all the morals that made the Connery era so much fun. Can you imagine Pussy Galore or Plenty O’Toole (“named after your father, I assume”) being allowed now? And if Tom Hardy does not get the role, I will flambé my trilby and eat it.

...and another thing

Maybe I will go visit the Gnome Reserve in Devon. I have a special affinity for Garden Gnomes as I was once beaten at school for them. One end of term we went into the town of Rugby, broke into gardens with gnomes and then laid out about 150 of them out on the Headmaster’s lawn. However, I got caught because being a polite chap I had stuck a note with the address of each particular gnome so they could eventually be reunited with their owner. The Headmaster who taught me English recognised my writing.

...and another thing

My wife is looking forward to me going on a diet in the New Year and so as not to disappoint her I am doing my best to finish off both the Christmas cake and Christmas pudding I made in October to bulk up before the weight loss. In fact… blessed as we are with friends we have had seven dinner parties over the last 15 days all with between 8 to 12 people at the table.

So my New Year’s resolution for January is the kitchen is closed!

Wherever you are and whichever God goes with you, let’s all have a wonderful fresh and joy filled 2022.

Stay Safe.

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