A-Tishoo, A-Tishoo We all fall down

Why...

Does the Coronavirus remind me of a pop song? If you can remember Dexy’s Midnight Runners 1982 hit, every time I read COVID-19 it sounds like ‘Come on Eileen’. No doubt a re-release is coming. In fact, I wonder what song is going to be most associated with this virus? China’s cliche ridden “Believe Love Will Triumph” is so awful and self serving that it made my toes curl. China seems intent on giving the world gifts that keeps on giving. Avian Flu, SARS, Coronavirus I think Britney Spears “Oops I’ve done it again,” is far more appropriate. I just wonder how we can all show our gratitude? They sure knew about it when I went through China on my way back from Laos in the first week of January. I had injured my back and a lady grabbed the wheel chair with a cry of: “You sick” and wheeled me off through double doors to a quarantine room!

...and another thing

The run on loo paper just shows what people’s priorities are. It’s about as relevant to Coronavirus as the Koran is to a whisky distiller. And now the internet is flooded with people wearing every possible version of a face mask known to man. The world looks like a cross between Venice during carnival and the Tom Cruise Nicole Kidman party scene in Eyes Wide Shut.

My favourite so far is Taiwan. They are a huge manufacturer of medical masks, even exporting to China. They have started putting their flag on the masks loving idea of Chinese walking around with them.

...and another thing

With more and people being in lockdown, there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth as to what on earth are people going to do? Well, here are some suggestions.

Conversation.

Read a book.

Learn something. A language, how to cook… I mean the internet will happily tell you everything from how to turn kitchen tools into musical instruments to a step by step plan to construct a thermo nuclear power plant in your back garden.

People who are unable to amuse themselves have an I.Q. the same as their shoe size.

However for kids it’s going to be business as usual conducting all social interaction via a mobile phone. You want to see real global chaos? Put a virus in mobile phones!

...and another thing

Of course for some it’s not all doom and gloom. Amazon have taken on 100,000 extra staff in US. We’re not laughing now at Bezos’ idea of mini drones delivering loo rolls and other necessities.

The streaming services, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc will have a gangbuster increase in subscribers.

Suddenly big Pharma aren’t the bad guys anymore:

“$300 a pill? Sure. I’ll take all you got.”

Self preservation trumps everything. Good manners, financial common sense and looking out for others. Frankly people who empty shelves of enough pasta to feed the crowd at Shea stadium should be made to cook and deliver to the elderly.

...and another thing

I continue to flit about Malta but by the time you read this the airport will be closed and we will be in lockdown.

As an added precaution they are talking about the elderly being forced to stay at home for three months. Seemed sensible to me till I realised that meant anyone over 60.

So for me being lumped into the ‘old fogey and probably disposable’ category is the biggest injury so far. Keep safe.

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4 Comments

  1. Avatar Tony Ritz says:

    Well said, Mark.

    Stay well, my friend!

  2. Avatar Peter says:

    Great blog !! Covid 19 is exactly like Come on Eileen. Have you got any more ???
    Stay in and stay well

  3. Avatar Magda says:

    Hello, hello,
    Sorry to hear about your back injury, I hope that you are feeling better and can walk.
    The reminiscence of “Come on Eileen” could be one of the soundtracks for the actual worldwide pandemic (as when they sing in the building they are on “Holyoak Road”…).
    In Spain the song is “Resistiré” (= I will resist…, a remake from a song from the 70s).
    Also in Spain and France, it has become an habit everyday at 20h00 (local time for the “TV News”…), for everyone not lying in bed, to stay by an open window or balcony and clap to thank the brave workers (nurses, doctors, cleaners, pharmacists, check out assistants….) for their work.
    Personally, the first time I heard the name Coronavirus, it made me think immediately to Coronary virus or Coronal virus…Then pushing further “Corona effect” maybe…
    But one thing is sure, it makes us think a lot, and change habits…
    As for the kids…A good solution is to hide the mobile phone, the tablet and the tv remote for a while..They then give you a massive headache complaining that they are bored…or they become either creative again Am I an “horrible” mum ? Removing all the virulent electronic toys…;-)
    Stay safe…

  4. Avatar Georgina Smithson says:

    Love love love it……so great to read something upbeat….and amusing!

    Totally agree do not understand how people are unable to amuse themselves….I am getting up at 6.00 am to fit everything into my day!

    We’re living our best lives in London…..Lily’s just bought a milk frother so we will never need to buy another cappuccino!