Today’s blog was too good ... You can’t read it

Why...

Am I getting brain fade? I have written these little ditties for over four years now, on over 200 topics ranging from my dog’s television viewing habits to me never being around when moving house. It is getting increasingly challenging to find things to scribble about. Last week whilst driving in the shoal of Malta’s kamikaze drivers I was struck by a subject so ripe that I actually started laughing. For a moment I wondered whether I should stop and write it down or record it into my phone. Nope! No need. It was too funny. How on earth could I forget? Try as I might, I cannot remember it. I even drove down the same road listening to the same songs in the hope the Muse of blogs would reach out and jog my memory. Nothing.

...and another thing

I am ashamed to say this is not the first time that inspiration has been snatched away by impending senility. I had a dream a couple of nights ago that would also have made a terrific blog. Ten minutes after waking up it had disappeared like the steam from my espresso.

Yesterday I also found myself rummaging in a drawer full of tools and suddenly unable to remember if I needed tweezers or a mallet.

There is however, one advantage in this memory slippage and it is TV. If I find I am watching a movie that I may have seen before but not sure, I console myself that I am just super on the ball working out plot twists!

...and another thing

Names. Dinner parties are a minefield. Try as I might if I am introduced to eight people, eight names go in one ear and straight out the other. I am told you must try and link a name to a thing.

“This is Adam,” and I have a chance to think of an apple.

But when it’s, “This is Charlie, Jan, Betsy, Ernest, Paola, Bernie, Nigel and Odelle” all in rapid fire there is no chance I can conjure up images fast enough and I spend the evening calling people “mate”. It is worse now that I’ve written a book as someone whom I have spent an entire evening with asks me to autograph a copy.

The standby of “How exactly do I spell your name” as a get out of jail card fails miserably if the answer is J-A-N.

I am reminded of many years ago in New York having dinner with a group which included the wonderful Joe Cocker and his wife Pam Baker. At the end of the evening Joe had a ‘senior moment’ looking at his wife and said, “time to go, tiger”.

She leaned over and decked him!

“I don’t mind if you’re getting senile and forget my name, but you told me that you called every groupie ‘tiger’ as you never remembered their name. Just NEVER call me tiger!”

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  1. Avatar Georgina Jackson Sytner says:

    You are too funny ……love your writing it always makes me smile.

    On the senility subject Tom and I did a brilliant 30 day on line course recently by Jim Kwik on how to develope a Super Brain. Some amazing hacks.