🎶Memories are made of this🎵

Why...

Can nostalgia be dangerous? Brrrm Brrrm! Walking straight onto a plane with no security checks Carrying my speargun as cabin baggage in a plane First and business class transatlantic flights with no beds Airplane tickets made by travel agents only Smoking carriages on the subway/smoking sections on a plane Asking what is the movie on the plane Hovercraft to France Railway carriages with compartments and corridors Going for a Sunday drive 101 Octane Fuel Buses with conductors Driving without a seatbelt Just a radio with a single speaker in the car Spare tyres in cars No speed limits on motorways Electric Milk Floats Parking meters fed with coins

...and another thing

Its not a fad!

 Gonks

Hula Hoops

Pet Rocks

Cabbage Patch Dolls

Tracy Island

Jax

Sony Walkman

Troll Doll

Lava lamp

Clackers

Filofax

I-Pod

Space Dust

Tickle Me Elmo

Chia pet

...and another thing

Its so healthy!

All soda drinks

Candy that looked like cigarettes

BirdsEye Frozen Faggots

Deep fried Marrs Bars

Pez dispensers

Ribena

Spam fritters

Aerosol cheese

Vesta dried meals

Powdered fresh orange juice

Cigarette advertisements

Handkerchiefs you blow your nose in and kept in your pocket

Skiing without helmets

Sex without condoms

Cocaine is not addictive

Sunscreen is for sissies

Diet pills

Aspic

Fish meringue pie

...and another thing

Gone and now forgotten!

 Pubic Hair

Beer cans without ringpulls

Address books

Road maps

Telephone Directories

Cheque Books

X-rays at shoe shops

Telephone Kiosks

Directory Enquiries

Punts, Francs, Marks, Lira, Schilling, Kroner, Escudo, Peso, Florins, FTX, One Coin, Das Coin, BitConnect

PanAm, TWA, Braniff

Blockbuster, Tower records, Compaq

Fruitopia, Squeezits, Dunkaroos

...and another thing

Cutting edge technology!

TV Aerials

45 and 33 1/3 records

Record players

Cassettes

Cassette players

CD

CD players

VHS

Betamax

Video players

Laserdisc

DVD

DVD launch parties bigger than movie opening parties

Blackberry

Computer discs

Teasmade Alarm clocks

Slide rules

Speaking clock

House phones with an aerial

Rabbit Ears (U.K.)

The electric handshake noise on dialling into the web

Teletext

Telex machine

Pagers

Slide projector

Telegrams

Carbon paper

Rolodex

Credit card imprinters

...and another thing

Thats Entertainment!

 Two movies per show

Cartoon only cinemas

An usherette to show you to your seat in the Cinema

Jujubes

Weekly appointment viewing

TV schedule clashes

Newsreaders who just read the news

Top shelf Porn magazines

Kodachrome and Fuji film

Page Three Topless models in The Sun Newspaper

Top of the Pops

Saturday Afternoon Wrestling with Ken Walton (U.K.)

Closedown of all TV stations late at night

...and another thing

Its called fashion, dooh!

 Bell bottoms

Onesies

Platform shoes

Mullet Haircut

Afghan coats

Shoulder pads

Go-Go boots

Shell suits

Skirt overs

Harem pants

...and another thing

Once a kid, always a kid!

 Only two things could kill you; natural causes or talking back to your parents

Cycling to school alone, no helmet

Building the Guy for Guy Fawkes Day

Playing with fireworks

Cap guns which we pointed at each other

Penny chews

Gobstopper sweets so big they could choke you

Boxing at school

Being beaten at school with a cane, gym shoe or slipper

Fighting having a haircut

Always carrying a pocket knife

Always respecting the Police

Real toys never used batteries

Hand warmers that were actually real fires encased inside asbestos

Conker fights are compulsory as a boy

You are the engine that powered the lawnmower

...and another thing

Thats how its always been and always will be!

Two sexes

The Soviet Block

Wearing ties every day at school

Hair with a parting

Shops closed on Sundays

No minorities in Hallmark commercials

Pub and bars licensing hours

Avon calling

School reports handwritten by the teacher

House calls from Doctors

Dentist visits always hurt… but he gives you candy if you don’t cry

Kids walking shoes were made from tough leather uppers and leather soles, with lace ups

Gym shoes were called plimsoles

The Grocery store had people behind counters who served you

You went shopping with a wicker basket

Milk came in glass bottles

The Onion man delivers to your door

You played outside in the streets

Band aids are not waterproof

To take your temperature they shove a breakable glass tube full of poisonous mercury up your rectum

Bell hops at hotels come outside to get your bags as soon as the taxi pulls up

Stay safe.

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3 Comments

  1. Kevin says:

    Everything I want for Christmas listed there – thank you.
    Have a wonderful holiday

  2. Peter says:

    Brilliant !!! And no internet !!

  3. Peter says:

    Brilliant !!! All recipients should make am additional suggestion. Mine would be ….. No f…..g internet !!

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