🎶Kwanza is coming, The non-force-fed goose is becoming plus size 🎵Please transfer a bitcoin into the yearly challenged person’s electronic hat

Why...

Is the term Christmas offensive to some but if I suggested to my Muslim mates that they renamed Hadj or Jewish friends came up with a more inclusive term for Yom Kippur or Sikhs and Hindus festival of Diwali should be changed to ‘fancy dress day’, I would quite rightly be told to sod off.

I am confused as to what is wrong with cultural identity. It’s not offensive to others, just saying:

“Hi there, this is our excuse to let our hair down. Join in if you like, but these are the rules of the game!”

And to be honest a huge number do join in.People of all faiths pull crackers and put on silly hats on December 25th and I don’t hear many objecting to getting the day off.

...and another thing

Can you weaponise presents? A dear friend explained that as an only child he dreaded Christmas presents as his Dad would always give him board games that required three people or more to play… and then not play with him. In defiance my heroic friend made up three mates and moving from chair to chair around the kitchen table taking their place each time someone else had to roll the dice.

“To this day I still don’t get on well with my father…” he ended his story dryly. Sorry, but we howled with laughter!

...and another thing

Food. Yes we all have favourites… and then there are Brussels sprouts. But even amongst British Christians we assume that everyone gobbles Turkey and Christmas pud, but they don’t. Our transatlantic cousins have already had a turkey at Thanksgiving a month earlier and eat Prime Rib. Christmas pudding is a Dickensian myth that if you are crazy enough to bring with you will be met with horror. Swedes eat ham, it’s suckling pig in Puerto Rico and Portuguese eat cod.

A friend of mine working in the Korup reserve in The Cameroons brought a massive hamper of Christmas food from Fortnum and Mason. The locals eat everything… together. Mince pies with ham, cold turkey with Christmas pudding. Even Stilton cheese with smoked salmon topped with cranberry sauce. However, it was not a success until someone brought out a bathtub full of Cassava spice. Hot enough for a European’s tongue to dial the fire brigade after a light dusting. It was snowed over everything.

“Much better. Too bland,” they all agreed, even trying to see in the content of the crackers could be consumed after rolled in the fiery spice.

Me, I’ll eat anything apart from humble pie! Right now I’ll be grateful if we all manage get around a table together with no COVID casualties.

Happy Christmas. No offence intended.

Go Back

Add a comment: