All posts in category: Sport

The next Olympic sport should be the Air Guitar

Why...

Are some fun sports excluded from The Games?

I watched the recent Olympics with the inclusion of new disciplines such as mountain biking, karate, skateboarding and rock climbing with some joy mixed with confusion. These are nearly all sports of the current generation which is why some participants had to ask nanny if they could miss their afternoon reading lessons to compete in their sport. They also had to beg to stay up late for their medal ceremony, no doubt wearing slippers and pyjamas so they went straight to bed afterwards.

My grandfathers generation had manly sports such as tug of war with all the men in hooped onesies, rugby boots and walrus moustaches.

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Resistance is futile... I will dress like a pimp from a blaxploitation movie

Why...

Do certain pastimes creep up on me as I get older? Golf is a great example. Forty years ago the whole clubby, cliquey, smug aroma of joining a club and spending eons smacking a little white ball around manicured lawns represented everything the young urchin in me hated. I refused ever to pick up a golf club, wanting the world to know I was kicking against the pricks in every sense of the word. I would rather have entered Richard Nixon than a golf club. Then a few years ago a virus struck down many of my friends who suddenly started not only playing the game but wearing tartan V neck sweaters and trousers, accompanied by white flat caps and checkered leather shoes that Cab Calloway would have been proud of. They even started drinking gin. Fortunately around that time I met my beloved wife. In an earlier life she had dated a professional golfer and it had put her off the game for life. I was safe. However a dear friend and his wife came to visit recently and both are avid golfers. As I listened to them ramble on about such arcane terms such as nibblets, bogies and my particular favourite an Adolf Hitler; (two shots in a bunker), I suddenly said: "That sounds great." Time stood still. You can't unring that bell. My wife instead of getting up and looking for a rolling pin to shuffle my teeth added: "There is only one course here in Malta!"

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Tokyo Olympics... wanna bet?

Why...

Are we fooling ourselves the 2020 Olympics will take place in 2021. If you asked a four year old what they thought about flying people in from every country on earth to mix in essentially one location, you would be met with Greta Thunberg-like incredulity. I am happy to stick my neck out and say there is more chance of finding a tap dancing oyster than there is of watching a medal ceremony this summer.

Although as a youth I showed all the athletic ability of a mollusc, I have real sympathy for Olympic Athletes. You get a crack at glory every four years, but in my mind it looks pretty certain the gap will be eight years this time. That’s a lifetime as an athlete.

The Japanese Olympic committee seem to occupy some male dystopian NeverNeverLand where what they say goes, no matter the evidence. To them the Games are as certain to accompany this summer as raw fish is accompanied by rice.

To compound how out of touch our Japanese friends are, they recently announced they would NOT extend the female representation on their Olympic board to 40%, because women talk too much in committee meetings! Sad, as maybe they could talk some sense into these misogynistic blazer wearing dinosaurs.

At best you might allow athletes who have had a jab, but that of course would punish the poorer nations... and Russia whose inoculation is as close to those that actually work as their Tupolev TU-144 (Concordski) was to Concorde.

To be honest, I still cannot make out if the Russians would have been allowed to participate anyway!

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Why are super strength bin liners as thin as a condom and with all the strength of wet rice paper?

Why...

Are bin liners so weak?

Every pack of bin liners my wife buys has packaging screaming, super strong, extra strength, tear proof. The Superman of black bags... yet unravel the roll and instead you get an anaemic Clarke Kent sack that will tear if you fill it with only cotton candy.

I assume ‘normal’ strength bags are so fragile they are only suitable to stick wishes and dreams into.

Is there no scale of strength for refuse bags? A minimum level of actually being able to hold something heavier than a ping pong ball?

There you go EU bureaucrats! Do something more useful than determining the curvature of a banana and give minimum strength requirements to bin bags.

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Do I get loyalty points if I have to quarantine for two weeks in a hotel?

February 7, 2021
Fasion Health & Beauty Kids/Family/Relations Sex Sport Work
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Why...

Not get some benefit from being locked in a gilded cage for a fortnight?

Now I understand many of you might think two weeks in quarantine in a Premier Inn in Wigan might just be a first world complaint. However, that will only be from people who have never experienced a wet Wednesday in Wigan in February. For those who have, it’s the closet thing to purgatory outside of having to watch endless repeats of the Wheel of Fortune with someone who constantly shouts out the wrong answers.

It troubles me that you can tip out of your first class seat at Heathrow and end up locked in some orange and beige nightmare in Brentford for two weeks instead of your normal sojourn at The Ritz. I hear the allocation of the actual quarantine hotel is luck of the draw. That clearly can not be true. There must be a fiddle somewhere. I just don’t believe you might end up in a magnificent palace with a suite large enough to have a croquet tournament or a hutch so small a mouse with a hard on could not turn around. Does anyone have the skinny on how to get a decent allocation?

And what do you do for two weeks? Do you end up tapping morse code on the walls with your jailed neighbour? Maybe fling open the curtains and scream out the window like Peter Finch in Network, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore.” Or would that mean the boys in blue come around and lock you in an even tinier cell instead?

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Never ask for directions and other essential tourist information...

August 1, 2020
Fasion Health & Beauty Food & Drink Sport Travel/Nature
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Why...

Do I know more about where I visit than where I live? If you want to amuse yourself in a city you are visiting ask directions to a made up address. If it's slightly rude… even better. Piddle Lane, Butt Hole Road, Divorce Court or (my favourite) Camel Toe Drive. (These in fact all exist). Nine times out of ten the person you ask will point you with utter certainty in the direction of your fictitious address. Locals never, ever, can be seen to know less than a foreigner. It is a maxim that you are always better informed of the cities you visit than the ones you live in. Most foreigners know far more than I do about London....and I lived there off and on for fifty years. The last time I viewed the Crown Jewels at the Tower of London, TV was black and white and The Beatles wore suits. My most recent visit to the British Museum was with my toddler son......who is now a pilot! However I visit the Louvre every time I am in Paris and the Met every time I'm in New York. I would rather kiss a politician than go to the Opera in London but in Vienna it's a must. If you do want true culture always search out a local museum. There are only so many Botticelli's a man can see in a day but how about the Phallogical (gentleman's sausage) Museum in Reykjavik, Iceland? You can compare notes with the Condom Museum in Bangkok or Sex Museum in Amsterdam? Got the kids? No problem. There are Barbie museums in Paris, Rome and Montreal or a Cup Noodle Museum in Osaka.

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If eating food is a sport, I need to start training properly

Why...

Can I not think of a single redeeming feature of eating competitions... unless of course it’s my company’s food. There are plenty of people who can argue with some justification that tug-of-war, tiddlywinks, or Morris Dancing are sports. At least they require some skill, a smidgen of technical ability. Dare I say it, there is also some teamwork or aesthetic beauty. Apart from the hand to eye coordination of being able to stuff food into your mouth like a high speed conveyor belt, I can think of nothing that needs any special requirements... except zero common sense and a stomach capable of enlarging to the size of a mid range Buick. Let’s put aside the question of if it’s a sport. Let’s start with why is it even a pastime. The basics. Gluttony. That is the skill. That attracts a very specific individual. Certainly if you shout in their ear you might get an echo. The goal. Waste as much bad food as possible and try not to vomit. Every eating competition I have found contains junk food with more additives than a years worth of Apple I-phone updates. Competitors taste buds are not exactly refined. And as the food is cheap, so it’s easy to supply in industrial size portions. From a personal point of view I would question the word Food! I mean no one ever has a caviar or truffle eating festival otherwise I might be tempted.

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No, it’s not an illness nor a condition... it’s lack of self-control

October 18, 2019
Entertainment/Media/Arts Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Kids/Family/Relations Sex Sport
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Why...

Is everything bad that happens to young people not their fault or beyond their control? However, if anything good happens, especially by blind stupid luck (yes, you lottery winners & Love Island/ Big Brother) it is all down to destiny and a well-deserved reward from society ‘for being me’... especially if I am lazy and lack a nanogramme of skill. We have created a generation that is obsessed with the self and values just existing as a reason to enjoy rewards, regardless of any talent (a bit like the succession in the monarchy....). When growing up, my generation wanted to have a talent to allow us to be an astronaut, athlete, Rock God, movie icon, Wall Street Titan or porn star. Ambition was about having talent. A recent survey showed that the most popular ambition now is to be a reality TV star; i.e. not bother with learning to fly, run, play an instrument, sing, act, count or keep a hard on for a day! Basically, you just permanently shop, make vacuous statements and put your name to a line of cosmetics to get paid buckets of money. If you have butt cheeks between which you could park a Harley Davidson, even better.

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If you are going to sing the National Anthem at an event, the faster the better

Why...

Do people insist on singing National Anthems at major events at full vibrato and wringing out every note for eternity? I understand the recently deceased Aretha Franklin set the bar in the USA at a staggering 4 minutes 55 seconds at a football game on Thanksgiving 2016. That’s longer than it took a surgeon in the 1550’s in Malta to whip out a kidney stone AND amputate a leg! The normal time for the US ditty is one minute 40 seconds. I mean, I’m all for putting your hand over your heart and showing some national pride but 5 minutes before you get to ‘From sea to shining sea…’!? In winter?

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Attention Airlines. I am not an egg. Please don’t poach me

Why...

Do airlines insist on cabins being too hot when you board? I admire pilots. My son is one. The only thing more difficult to understand how to operate than a plane is possibly Donald Trump’s hairdryer… but not a simple thermostat. So please, all cabin crew, can we set cabins at a temperature that human life as we know it can survive when we board? Overheated cabins incense me (in every sense of the word) so much that I have started to take a digital thermometer with me when I travel. I enjoy waving this at the In-Flight Attendant showing a toasty 28c/86f degrees and once in my seat I loudly suggest: “Excuse me, after three minutes I should be perfectly poached. My wife sitting next to me wonders if you would bring her some buttered toast to accompany her meal.”

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If you don’t want to do it, screw up badly ... once

Why...

Do people moan about doing things they hate? Don’t like washing up? Drop a few tea-cups or leave a couple of cornflakes welded to a plate. Hate spring cleaning? Dribble drops of eggshell enamel onto the dog’s head. My father, when asked to change his first nappy (and they were toweling ones back in the day) gagged at the smell then promptly flushed waste and nappy down the loo. He blocked the drains for an entire apartment block and was forbidden from ever changing my diapers again. Result! At school I found playing cricket matches a waste of four sunny afternoon hours. Dragooned into playing against another school because I was a half decent bowler, I swapped the ball for a tomato. Splat! Cricket whites covered in red spots. I was called to the housemaster, told I was a disgrace to the school and as punishment I would never be allowed to play cricket again. It took the acting skills of De Niro to look thoroughly upset, rather than punch the air for joy.

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I say, anyone for tennis?

July 7, 2018
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Why...

Have some events managed to stay essentially the same in character whilst others have changed beyond recognition? Wimbledon is in many ways gloriously anachronistic and has stayed resolutely the same since 1877. My late father was on the board and I was immensely lucky to have watched every men’s final from 1969 until his death in 2004. Yes the event is old fashioned but still managed to sneak in the odd dollop of progress. It took till mid 60s before the All English Lawn Tennis & Croquet Club, to give it its official name, allowed professionals to compete. In the 1970s skirts went high and in the 1980s rackets just went high tech. In the 1990s Wimbledon led the way in taking a little pressure out of the balls to stop short serve and volley rallies that threatened to ruin the game... but those two weeks in July are still rooted in Agatha Christie’s England. Pimms Number 1 cup to drink, smoked salmon sandwiches, strawberries & cream to eat, and a fearsome dress code. All men must wear jackets and ties in the members enclosure, trousers are frowned on for women and no one raises their voice (John Mcenroe in his prime, the exception that proved the rule). Even now the men’s and ladies champion pair up at the opening dance at the Gala finale ball. You almost expect to see Maggie Smith as Dowager Lady Grantham complete with lorgnette inspecting the crowds to make sure no riff-raff have gained entry. And yet Wimbledon has survived, even thrived. Unique in the tennis world as a Grand Slam on grass yet with the atmosphere of a smart village fete. It’s not the quaint atmosphere that puzzles me, but why no one else has tried to copy it.

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And they all lived happily ever after

Why...

Do we think that nations with opposite views will eventually all become lovey dovey? The fact that North and South Korea are competing in the snowman building competition at the Olympics or that the British and our continental friends like a sing-song event called the Eurovision Song Contest does not mean for one moment all is platonic. The UK has had a very jaundiced view about foreigners ever since 10,000 BC, when the British Isles uncoupled itself from France due to tectonic shifts and became an island fortress. “If God had wanted us to be European, we would not take baths but showers nor eat food that has gone off and whose rotten taste is covered up in fancy sauces,” say many limeys. However despite this feeling of self righteous ‘differentness’, every high street in the UK looks the same as they are all franchises from multi-national brands, whereas in most of rural Europe individuality at retail level rules supreme. Go figure. The rift between North and South Korea is but a blink of an eye in the history of our times but looks to run as long as the all time Box Office Champ of dispute between the Jews and other Arab nations.

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Only Ol' Blue Eyes can make a comeback

Why...

Does money override what you can plainly see in the mirror? When it comes to the human body, gravity wins. In the case of over the hill boxers, in more ways than one as nearly all comebacks result in them kissing the canvas. I see the Spice Girls, now more like the Pungent Women, are to make a comeback tour. Those pert dimensions and high-kicking routines will be sorely tested on a world tour; naturally soothed by a multi-million dollar payday. Of course we are to blame. The fact is prior to any comeback tour, most artists put themselves through a grueling fitness regime to at least try to be as buff as possible. Mick Jagger has his own personal Torquemada called Torje Eike who makes the legendary rock ‘n’ roll pixie run 8 miles a day, half of them backwards. We the audience delude ourselves that our heroes look barely affected by time, so by extension must we be equally Dorian Grey-like. This leads to such a strange phenomena such as ageing grannies chucking their incontinence pants at Tom Jones or tubby bald blokes strutting around like overfed chickens at an Aerosmith Concert all trying to be Steven Tyler. Weirdest are The Bronies. These are middle aged men who dress up like My Little Pony and attend conventions about the adventures of the saccharine nags. Frankly they all look like ‘Chester the Child Molester’ and should be avoided more than a battalion of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

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On your marks, get set, pay

Why...

Does watching live sport bother me? Recently there has been some fuss in the USA about NFL football players making a protest by going down on one knee. Well I have a protest... and I am on both knees praying for some sanity. I have just returned from a Thanksgiving week in Washington DC. During that time I was kindly treated to a basketball match with the Washington Wizards and an ice hockey match with the local Washington Capitals. The seats for the basketball cost my host $275 each and the ice hockey an eye watering $375 each. OK, in each case a hot dog and beer were included in the price. In addition my son wanted a shirt of the Washington Capital’s (ice hockey) leading scorer. A snip at $225! Now this poor love is only paid a piddling $16m a year basic so needs those shirt royalties. He is a pauper compared to his football colleagues who can earn ten times that! Yup there are players with $200m contracts... and the market happily pays for it. And to add insult to injury the salaries now require endless commercial breaks to pay for all this. It means a game with an actual playing time of just over an hour can last a decade to play out (well, at least over three hours). To put all this in perspective the result is some season tickets costing $50,000 a year. Now slap my ass and call me Sally but spectator sport was meant to be enjoyed by everyone. At these prices, it is now clearly the preserve of the über-rich. Whatever happened to “jerseys for goalposts and an orange segment at half time”? I am all for the free market but not for the market free-for-all. Salaries for sports stars are eventually paid for by you and I. If I object as a shareholder to some CEO being paid $ gabillion why can I not as a Sky subscriber protest that a bouffant haired soccer star is being paid £2m a month... after tax. Now I know this line of talk is going to make me very unpopular with gilt furniture manufacturers in Cheshire or diamond ear stud suppliers to the NFL in the USA but guys... you are overpaid over compensated over indulged and the real world is way over the rainbow.

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There are only two things I dislike about you... your face.

Why...

Not admit it. A sprinkling of hypocrisy adds spice to life. It’s the one time us mortals feel superior to those meant to be our elders and betters. Rumours abound that after playing arenas in the US, rather than diving into a mound of cocaine and groupies in their bedroom suites, certain Dinosaurs of Rock head out to the airport and a private jet to make sure they never spend a night in the USA... all to avoid tax. Very spirit of Woodstock! It even appears from the Paradise Papers that the saintly Bono may have feet of clay... that he no doubt leases back to himself to avoid Value Added Tax. I commented a couple of weeks ago on the squeals of surprise from industry bigwigs over the Harvey Weinstein revelations. This week in the wink of an eye Netflix have disowned Kevin Spacey for alleged serial behavior they of course knew nothing about....despite working cheek by jowl over several years! They did however know House of Cards had been instrumental in their growth into a media behemoth. And yet I can’t help having a sneaking admiration for those who so blatantly do not practice what they preach. Armstrong’s filmed condemnation of the use of drugs in sport is a truly Academy Award Winning performance. Knowing that Tax and Finance Ministers have secret bank offshore bank accounts, Televangelists get filmed in orgies and fitness trainer’s washboard stomachs are from liposuction, makes people in authority less terrifying. Next time you are in front of a male judge imagine under that wig and robes are fishnet stockings and six inch Manolo Blahniks. Then he ain’t quite so intimidating.

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It's election time....

Why...

Does the patter of canvasser’s feet make me so upset? If there is one certainty in life, even if you promise me eternal youth and free parking in Kensington and Chelsea, I will never vote for you if you come bang on my door.... especially if I am eating, drinking, watching TV or generally larking about. The idea that someone armed with a clipboard and shoes like Cornish Pasties can impart even a smidgen of information I may have missed from the blitz of TV commercials, political flyers, endless news coverage and posters covering our nations like a rash, is ridiculous. "Goodness me. Are you telling me…

The Tories are to lower tax,
The Labour Party will raise them,
The Green Party will make the tax demands themselves biodegradable?"

I suspect if you started a party that promised just to stumble on like all the others but never send a flyer, make a TV commercial let alone canvass your home and make it illegal for everyone else, they would win by a landslide.

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Never be a fitness freak in your twenties...

Why...

Workout when out of your head? I spent much of my twenties and thirties in a haze of cigarette smoke, hangovers and occasional substance abuse. 'Fit' was only an adjective used to describe a girl! Since then I am happy to say I got my act together and by my forties I even started going to the gym. Most of the sweating bodies of my age that had been fit in their twenties were miserable. They could only witness a decline in their sporting prowess from their adolescent peak. Every day in the gym was a hopeless effort to recapture their sporting glories. Not me, I reckon a seventy year old could have outperformed me at 20. At 40 I certainly could have. So having been a wreck in my youth, every day in the gym saw me reach a level I had never achieved before. I was bloody euphoric. The tide for me was coming in and for all those goody goodies of youth it was just going out. The moral here is unless you are a professional athlete, give yourself the gift of fitness later in life and be a rake in your youth! Middle age will thank you for it.

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THE RESOLUTION IS CARRIED ………

December 31, 2015
Entertainment/Media/Arts Food & Drink Friends Politics Sport Travel/Nature Work
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Why...

When it comes New Year Resolutions do I have the backbone of a chocolate éclair? Without a shadow of a doubt the worst thing to give up for New Year is anything you enjoy. After spending a few days in a confined space with relatives and noisy kids, I just want to send them to a vivisectionist. I sooooo badly need a cigarette, chocolates, booze or drugs and have zero chance of giving up anything till my blood pressure drops below Defcon5. Maybe February? Shortest month of the year. However next year is leap year and winter might have woken up by then so I will need my creature comforts. Looks like Lent is the time I have a shot at stopping something. Of course if it’s religion I give up I might as well ignore Lent and indulge my way through March and April. I mean you have to have Easter with Chocolate and Spring would be meaningless if you can’t toast it with a chilled Bellini? May and June are times of weddings so not drinking and eating is just plain rude. July and August is holiday time, so unless I have managed a crash diet for a week before, I am not going on holiday to starve. Then it’s Fall. The time of mellow fruitfulness…. It’s shooting season and the sky is raining pheasants and partridge like so much plush toys from Hasbro. Next thing you know it’s Thanksgiving that rolls into Christmas season…so no time for giving up anything. AND THAT’S WHY RESOLUTIONS DON’T WORK. So I will briefly turn my attention to the other quaint pastime of the New Year. Talking balls…as in crystal. Here are my 16 predictions for 2016. POLITICS 1) US Mitt Romney declares and chooses Rubio as Vice President goes on to win Republican Nomination, and then the Presidential election. 2) EUROPE Chancellor Merkel will lose a vote of no confidence and resign. 3) UK As with the No vote in the Scottish referendum, politicians will have badly underestimated the strength of anti EU feeling with a surge in the polls for a ‘No’ or exit vote. ‘Yes’ to stay in EU to squeak home by under 2%. 4) WORLDWIDE Instability breaks out in Saudi Arabia. Iran now seen along with Israel as the only stable market economy with a middle class. Despite huge domestic resistance from leaders, need for historic Israel/Iran meeting inevitable. BUSINESS 5) WORLWIDE News Corp will attempt again to buy out other BSKYB shareholders. In either instance, it will then sell off their own shareholding to sovereign hedge fund. 6) US Companies who had bought power on long term contracts start to suffer badly due to drop in oil price. Oil at $35 per barrel continues to question value of fracking and halts much future exploration. However this fall in the barrel price of oil slowly starts to climb and is seen as the low point of fuel prices for the next 15 years. 7) MONEY Euro declines and gold rises; each by 15% and the world’s largest lottery is won because a child chose the numbers for the mother. SPORT 8) FORMULA ONE Will be bought by a group neither from Europe, Asia nor America. However following the BBC decision to drop it and sell to Channel 4 because of low ratings, the new owners will desperately need to reinvigorate a sport that currently is only useful as a cure to insomnia. 9) OLYMPICS Russia reinstated to take part in the Olympics, only for another country to be expelled. Politics and sport are just two sides of the same coin, especially if it’s an Olympic medal. 10) FOOTBALL FIFA elects President who effectively pardons all those currently involved with bribery allegations. As a result they lose a cornerstone commercial partner. MEDIA 11) US Number of broadcast free to air channels on cable drop by over 15%. Netflix eventually bought out by Google after long fight with Amazon. CNN will become a streamed only news service. 12) OSCARS Delayed broadcast due to security scare. Surprises; Best Picture Spotlight and Best Supporting Actor Sylvester Stallone for Creed. TECHNOLOGY 13) Graphine and its full potential is at last grasped by public and becomes the 2016 buzzword. FASHION 14) Group LMVH (Edun, DKNY, Louis Vuitton, Möet et Chandon, Emilio Pucci, Fendi, Marc Jacobs, Givenchy, Kenzo, Berluti, Loewe, Celine Dior) acquires Hermés. FOOD 15) Failed attempt at poisoning distribution plant of major soft drink supplier. Mad cow disease breaks out again in the UK. NATURE 16) Mount Paektu in North Korea-China erupts, for once taking worldwide media’s attention away from President Kim Jung Un’s own eruptions. Give me my score this time next year. Happy New Year to you all! If you have enjoyed the blog please pass on to friends and if you are just dipping in please subscribe! It’s free and you get a once a week notification. If you use a tablet or phone click on the three black horizontal lines Ξ top right, and the form will appear. Just add any name you like and your email address. On line www.andanothething.com the form is on right, above subscribe. Put in a name and email….. Th-th-that’s all folks!

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Who you gonna call♫…NOT the Weatherman

Why...

Do we bother with weather forecasts? If ever a group of people would starve to death if they were paid on performance it’s the weathermen. In the UK the forecast is either… ‘Sunny with cloudy spells and occasional rain’. Well excuse me, but apart from adding a plague of locusts and blizzards that describes every kind of possible permutation you can get. That’s not a weather forecast, that’s weather hedge betting. It covers all the bases and is as much use as a rubber hammer Or You download an app with an hour by hour breakdown that changes more often than Miley Cyrus at an MTV Award ceremony. Earlier this month I was going to Goodwood for their annual three day extravaganza of classic cars and racing called the Goodwood Revival. It lasted from a Friday to Sunday. On Thursday there were dire predictions of fire and brimstone (OK rain) all day Saturday and Sunday but Friday would be fine. Needless to say it rained Friday evening but was sunny for the rest of the week-end. I would do better peering at the entrails of a chicken than use App mumbo-jumbo! How is it that a small island that could be carpeted in an afternoon has such unpredictable weather but when you go to Europe or the United States weather over vast distances can be predicted with reasonable success? Predicting weather is essential to sailors so how we ever became a seafaring nation is beyond me. Perhaps that’s why they took along a parrot to listen to what it had to say? I am told that you can convert cricket chirps to degrees Fahrenheit by counting the number of chirrups in 14 seconds then adding 40 to get the temperature! Either of those animals seem more reliable than depending on some presenter with bad hair and worse clothes pointing at a chart that will be as close to the truth as a candidate’s promises if elected President.

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All posts in category: Sport

The next Olympic sport should be the Air Guitar

Why...

Resistance is futile... I will dress like a pimp from a blaxploitation movie

Why...

Tokyo Olympics... wanna bet?

Why...

Why are super strength bin liners as thin as a condom and with all the strength of wet rice paper?

Why...

Do I get loyalty points if I have to quarantine for two weeks in a hotel?

Why...

Never ask for directions and other essential tourist information...

Why...

If eating food is a sport, I need to start training properly

Why...

No, it’s not an illness nor a condition... it’s lack of self-control

Why...

If you are going to sing the National Anthem at an event, the faster the better

Why...

Attention Airlines. I am not an egg. Please don’t poach me

Why...

If you don’t want to do it, screw up badly ... once

Why...

I say, anyone for tennis?

Why...

And they all lived happily ever after

Why...

Only Ol' Blue Eyes can make a comeback

Why...

On your marks, get set, pay

Why...

There are only two things I dislike about you... your face.

Why...

It's election time....

Why...

Never be a fitness freak in your twenties...

Why...

THE RESOLUTION IS CARRIED ………

Why...

Who you gonna call♫…NOT the Weatherman

Why...