Tokyo Olympics... wanna bet?


Are we fooling ourselves the 2020 Olympics will take place in 2021. If you asked a four year old what they thought about flying people in from every country on earth to mix in essentially one location, you would be met with Greta Thunberg-like incredulity. I am happy to stick my neck out and say there is more chance of finding a tap dancing oyster than there is of watching a medal ceremony this summer.

Although as a youth I showed all the athletic ability of a mollusc, I have real sympathy for Olympic Athletes. You get a crack at glory every four years, but in my mind it looks pretty certain the gap will be eight years this time. That’s a lifetime as an athlete.

The Japanese Olympic committee seem to occupy some male dystopian NeverNeverLand where what they say goes, no matter the evidence. To them the Games are as certain to accompany this summer as raw fish is accompanied by rice.

To compound how out of touch our Japanese friends are, they recently announced they would NOT extend the female representation on their Olympic board to 40%, because women talk too much in committee meetings! Sad, as maybe they could talk some sense into these misogynistic blazer wearing dinosaurs.

At best you might allow athletes who have had a jab, but that of course would punish the poorer nations... and Russia whose inoculation is as close to those that actually work as their Tupolev TU-144 (Concordski) was to Concorde.

To be honest, I still cannot make out if the Russians would have been allowed to participate anyway!

...and another thing

There is of course the worry that the crowds coming in from the four corners of the globe will spread the dreaded lurgy. That’s minor. I once spoke to an Olympic athlete who spilled the beans. I understand the Olympic village is a hotbed of hanky-panky. Again the Russians and Albanians may not participate as they appear to have taken so many steroids that sex is impossible… but then would you want to have sex with an Albanian female weightlifter anyway?

While you might be able to get the crowds to keep their distance there is no way you can prevent closeness and exchange of bodily fluids in the Nippon Olympic Village. It’s full of fit young things full of pent up emotion, be it females looking for release after missing the final heat of the synchronised swimming or beach dudes who failed to get to the surfing finals.

...and another thing

The cost to Japan for preparing the world’s biggest party that turns into a no show will be eye watering. As no Olympic Games has ever made money (apart from Los Angeles) why can we not have a purpose built UN style funded Olympic location… or two. One in the Northern Hemisphere and one in the Southern Hemisphere. Just choose a location the world is happy to consider not contentious and neutral, all nations chip in and build a dedicated Olympian park and voila.

I suggest The Falklands in the Southern Hemisphere and Hong Kong in the North

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One Comment

  1. Peter says:

    Having the Olympics this year is madness !! Excellent blog

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