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See all posts for June2015

Buy the horse, not the stable!

  • June 25, 2015
  • Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law Sport
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Buy Bernie Ecclestone's Grand Prix Circus, when you can probably get control of the Formula 1 (F1) big top simply by being a co-owner of the star act? Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA) own 90% of car maker Ferrari with Piero Ferrari, Enzo's son owning the other 10%. FCA have announced their intention to sell off 10% of the Italian sports car maker and are valuing Ferrari at $6 billion. This might seem a little excessive as the entire group is valued at only just over $12 billion...but such is the razzle dazzle of the prancing horse from Maranello! There is no Formula 1 without Ferrari and with new owners of F1 on the horizon now is the time to strike. Change in F1 ownership will inevitably result in some instability and they need a happy and contented Ferrari. So why not just grab that 10% of Ferrari for $600million. In addition to impressing the hell out of your Russian mistress or dinner companions at your beach house in St. Tropez, you go straight to the top of the queue for any new Ferrari with the bonus of VIP invites to every Grand Prix.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

So who made you a professional 'offendee'?

  • June 18, 2015
  • Finance/Law Life Work
  • View all 3 Comments
Why...

If somebody says something in private that is overheard and reported, someone else not remotely involved seems to get 'offended'? Don't get me wrong, I don't condone any kind of aggressive, hateful, racist or derogatory public statements. In private surely we have the right to say certain things that in the 'open' world are of course inappropriate. Again I am not encouraging hateful diatribe but rude words, blue jokes, clichéd stereotypes can have a role in private conversation. If I tell a joke about a Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman, why should some Scotsman I have never met and doesn’t have a clue of the context in which the joke was made be offended? Yes the joke might be offensive if it was a public statement but that’s the whole point. It wasn’t. It’s the 'offendee' who made it public. These offendees not only have had their humour chromosome removed but appear to get their facts wrong. The list is endless and laughable if the consequences were not so serious. Of the examples scattered over the internet one that I found nearly unbelievable was that of Mr. David Howard, who was working for the US Government when he used the word niggardly in a speech to describe a certain expenditure!! People were offended and he was forced to resign. The total lack of understanding of the use of the English Language is the real offence here!

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

“Freeze…… you’re a cliché”

  • June 11, 2015
  • Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law
  • View all 1 Comment
Why...

When I watch cop movies are they all still wrapped up in the standard ‘gumshoe’ formula? The following seem to me the dirty dozen plot points you need to tick off.

  • 1) Hero is ‘too old for this shit’ and trying to quit a smoking habit/drug habit/drinking habit or even wearing a nun’s habit. Whatever his failings though he can still shoot the eyebrows off a gerbil at 100 yards, a distance he can also cover faster than Usain Bolt.
  • 2) He has relationship problems, yet falls for a girl young enough to be his daughter (and she is old enough to know better). At first meeting she initially hates him.
  • 3) He works in a police station that is forever booking hookers who know our hero. Someone always says “God, the coffee here tastes like sh*t”.
  • 4) His boss is usually overweight, shouts a lot and is permanently putting his star player on suspension.
  • 5) Our hero destroys half the precinct in a car requisitioned from a driver (usually a soccer mom with a cute kid still in the back), tail-sliding wildly into piles of empty boxes or fruit and veg and letting the baddies ultimately get away (so we can get revenge later).
  • 6) The Boss explodes under the pressure from ‘Above’ to curtail our hero’s exploits. This time the boss wants him to stop working alone and work with a new partner.
ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?
    • 7) Partner dies just as our hero starts to give him some respect.
    • 8) Our heroine refuses witness protection, leaves her apartment and is promptly stuffed into the back of a van kicking and screaming. She is taken back to the baddies lair. (Note hair and make-up still good).
    • 9) Someone always sticks a flick knife into a plastic bag of some drug or other…and then never bothers to seal it up again.
    • 10) Mobile phones are only out of range or low on battery when someone is in danger and no one ever takes a bathroom break.
    • 11) There is always a parking space whenever a car pulls up on the sidewalk.
    • 12) Finale has monster shootout with machine gun bullets spraying everywhere that still seem to miss their target. Eventually there is a mano á mano fight between the cop and the head baddie that ends with a fall through a glass skylight. As our hero is about to be plugged, he comes up with a sure-fire quip kills a shocked baddie and saves the girl. Fade out as our hero flings away his badge, his arm around the rescued girl, now his new squeeze.
So there you go, all you budding script writers. Just fill in the blanks!

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

"Eggs benedict with a tazer stun gun on the side, please."

  • June 4, 2015
  • Finance/Law Food & Drink Life Work
  • View all 4 Comments
Why...

Must people feel compelled to have business breakfast meetings?

Breakfast is a time when the brain needs a kick-start of coffee to aid gentle re-entry into reality’s atmosphere. You start by reading about the latest world shattering crisis from the Kardashian family and end with the less trivial matters of Wall Street or Washington.

The idea I would agree to spend those delicious moments of transformation with someone pitching a financing opportunity whilst wearing a tie loud enough to deafen, is ludicrous. The loudest thing I am prepared to listen to is ‘Snap, Crackle and Pop’.

I am pretty certain that all the bad deals were made over breakfast...

"No Josephine, I have made up my mind. We fight at Waterloo tomorrow. Now pass me a croissant." 17th June 1815

"So. All agreed? We change the Coke formula and call the old one Coke Classic. Waffles all round" April 23 1985

"No one will give a shit? Break in if you have to. Just get that stuff out of the Watergate building. More bagels?" October 9th 1972

I imagine evening meals where your brain is fully functioning are therefore so much more successful…

"So Miss Rowling, everyone else has turned down your Harry Potter book? May I offer you more wine?" May 10 1996

"Ok Winston, D-Day is a go. Now another brandy and cigar?" June 4th 1944

"Let’s raise a toast to our little company. And we’ll call it EBay." September 2 1995

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

What is rss? "rss" is about getting live web feeds
directly to your computer.