So who made you a professional 'offendee'?


If somebody says something in private that is overheard and reported, someone else not remotely involved seems to get 'offended'? Don't get me wrong, I don't condone any kind of aggressive, hateful, racist or derogatory public statements. In private surely we have the right to say certain things that in the 'open' world are of course inappropriate. Again I am not encouraging hateful diatribe but rude words, blue jokes, clichéd stereotypes can have a role in private conversation. If I tell a joke about a Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman, why should some Scotsman I have never met and doesn’t have a clue of the context in which the joke was made be offended? Yes the joke might be offensive if it was a public statement but that’s the whole point. It wasn’t. It’s the 'offendee' who made it public. These offendees not only have had their humour chromosome removed but appear to get their facts wrong. The list is endless and laughable if the consequences were not so serious. Of the examples scattered over the internet one that I found nearly unbelievable was that of Mr. David Howard, who was working for the US Government when he used the word niggardly in a speech to describe a certain expenditure!! People were offended and he was forced to resign. The total lack of understanding of the use of the English Language is the real offence here!

...and another thing

All humour is based on a target. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them, just the situation itself is funny. Whether it’s Charlie Chaplin falling on a banana skin into a manhole cover or Tom’s face taking the shape of a frying pan when he’s hit with it by Jerry. Clearly if that was real it would not be funny…. Actually there are some people at the Inland Revenue that would look better with a frying pan in the face……. See, we all do it. Now I fully expect to get a note from Her Majesties Revenue and Customs telling me they are offended by this!! Well, I can assure you I am more offended by their tax demands.

...and another thing

Companies’ computers act as Nannies and censor emails you send as they also can be ‘offended’. I was recently discussing a shot for a scene with a bird and wrote to the network executive concerned, ‘whatever we use it must be everyday but threatening like a crow or magpie…not something small and inoffensive like a robin red breast or a small blue tit’. I immediately was sent an automated email warning me from sending offensive language to the network concerned and that my email address would go on a banned list if I repeated the offence. My apologetic reply was based on the notion that computers don’t understand double entendres.

“Thank you for your email. It came very quickly. I have withdrawn my offensive insertion. In future my hard drive will not send anything into your software without an open invitation.”

...and another thing

I notice a proliferation of warnings signs to tell me that rudeness will not be tolerated on the bus, customs, local councils, or customer service call ins and there could be legal repercussions. ‘Offendees’ en masse!

Fair enough but why does the customer have to tolerate bad service in silence? You reap what you sow. Great service gets good customers, but don’t hide bad service behind a wall of legal protection. Being ignored by the ‘Desk Police’ because they are talking to a colleague or silently logging on to the computer is lighting the fuse on a customer’s temper. A simple “Hello, I will be two minutes” would seem to be required. Anything else is plain offensive…….. making me, I’m afraid, a professional offendee!

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  1. Paola says:

    Good one Mark

  2. Curly says:

    I Resemble Those Remarks

  3. Tony Ritz says:

    Bravo! well said. . .

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