All posts in category: Finance/Law

🎶Memories are made of this🎵

December 4, 2022
Entertainment/Media/Arts Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Food & Drink Friends Kids/Family/Relations Sex Sport Technology
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Why...

Can nostalgia be dangerous? Brrrm Brrrm! Walking straight onto a plane with no security checks Carrying my speargun as cabin baggage in a plane First and business class transatlantic flights with no beds Airplane tickets made by travel agents only Smoking carriages on the subway/smoking sections on a plane Asking what is the movie on the plane Hovercraft to France Railway carriages with compartments and corridors Going for a Sunday drive 101 Octane Fuel Buses with conductors Driving without a seatbelt Just a radio with a single speaker in the car Spare tyres in cars No speed limits on motorways Electric Milk Floats Parking meters fed with coins

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If an airline can charge you for a seat on a plane that does not exist, why can they also charge you if you don’t appear at the gate?

July 3, 2022
Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law Friends Kids/Family/Relations Travel/Nature
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Why...

Are some airlines hellbent on pi##ing off their passengers, whilst some notable exceptions bend over backwards to be helpful? Let’s face it. Airports in certain cities are in chaos. I recently heard of a passenger checking into First Class on an international carrier asking for his bags to go to Rio as he went to New York. An exasperated check in staff called over the manager who explained this was simply impossible. Baggage had to accompany the passenger. “Well, you managed it last time I flew to New York”, came the response, to a ripple of applause from other passengers.

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It’s not about the money … honestly

June 19, 2022
Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law Sport
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Why...

Is everyone so coy about admitting ‘I am doing it for the money?’ There is a huge brouhaha going on because a bunch of sportsmen dressed in awful tartan and plaid clothing have decided to whack a few balls around God’s largest bunker, Saudi Arabia. Now, dear reader, have a guess what attracted these already rich men to play golf there? Was it… 1. The quality and diversity of the golf courses bathed in 100 degree heat 2. The range of free alcoholic beverages on offer 3. The chance to dance the night away with local unescorted ladies in some jiving nightclub and the wonderful variety of nightlife and entertainment 4. The opportunity to mingle freely with people of either sex or sexual orientation without fear of segregation or arrest 5. Their support to the regime that chopped up poor journalist Jamal Khashoggi in October 2018, and has a habit of beheading people whose sexual orientation or religion they disagree with, bans free speech and can use torture as a punishment from courts…… or 6. Could it possibly be the multimillion dollar prize money? Whilst trying not to reveal themselves as the money grabbing venal people most of us are, the golfers have tied themselves into a Gordian knot trying to say money was the last reason they agreed to the tour. Such a shame. I would have hugely respected the man who had piped up and said: “The only reason to visit this godforsaken sandpit with stone-age rules about women and gay people is to make vast amounts of money. If people honestly believe my presence here has anything to do with supporting a repressive regime they are either dreaming or drive in Formula I.” Previous F1 events have taken place in such well known beacons of human rights as Russia, Turkey, Bahrain, China, Qatar, Azerbaijan, Saudi Arabia and AbuDhabi.

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It’s an ATM not a Nintendo game boy

Why...

Do I seem to always be queueing at an ATM with someone who seems to be playing a game on the console? Just put the card in and take out the money! Maybe people miss the interaction with a bank teller? For all I know they could be typing in ‘Good morning, how are your kids/cats/bunions?’ All I see is cards go in, lots of typing, staring at the screen, then reading slips of paper… only to repeat the whole process all over again with another card. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Maybe I am the mad one expecting people just to extract money from an ATM rather than a prolonged electronic dialogue.

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Things I want to buy Duty Free

March 27, 2022
Finance/Law Food & Drink Kids/Family/Relations Travel/Nature
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Why...

Are we so desperate to buy Duty Free? The truth is duty free is daft. I mean who said… “I know. Let’s fill all departing aircraft with more weight to burn more fuel. In addition, let’s fill the passenger compartment with a bunch of combustibles; booze, perfume, tobacco and raffia or plastic tat.” The truth is airports don’t give a fig about passengers so long as they can claw money off you in the two hours they hold you captive. The logical thing to do of course is to buy items to be collected when you land, thus avoiding transport cost and safety issues. That means all the crap you buy at the airport for friends and relatives because you forgot to buy on holiday will fall by the wayside. And no more local hootch that most of the time is used as paint thinner anyway. If you are desperate to buy a diamond encrusted watch or unobtainium rings because they are massively cheaper than at home, then search them out and buy them when you land. Makes the custom clearance queues shorter for the rest of us.

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🎶 I’m busy busy busy doing nothing 🎶

February 27, 2022
Finance/Law Food & Drink Technology Work
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Why...

Am I exhausted?

The last year has seen a few upheavals and I now find myself with a bit more time on my hands.

I am being horsewhipped into training five days a week, with my wife giving me the evil eye every time I even mention a carbohydrate.

“Get fit. More energy. More time to do things,” seems to be the mantra.

There is only one solution to get any relief. Find another challenge.

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Officer. Arrest that man. His clothes fit

October 18, 2021
Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Technology Travel/Nature
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Why...

Do policemen look like they have been shrink-wrapped?

Maybe it’s rose-tinted spectacles but back in the day when all policemen looked older than me, I don’t recall them being shoehorned into clothing three sizes too small for them.

Nowadays they all seem to be trying to burst out of their uniforms. I understand the theory is… it makes them look intimidating and gives you less to hang onto in case you get into a scuffle. Quite how clothing tighter than a sausage skin is meant to be intimidating, I am not sure. However, judging by the actual size of many policemen, I reckon I could hop faster than they could run. Why scuffle if a brisk walk will leave a Bobby panting like a pug in the Sahara?

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Going going going. Sold to you sir. Expect to die horribly

Why...

Buy criminals belongings at auction?

I read with interest recently that no one in Mexico was interested in buying one of Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guizman’s hideouts; he being the cocaine kingpin and fervent underground burrower who eventually was brought to justice.

So the government gave it away in a special lottery, no doubt with the the strap line ‘this time your number really is up.”

Who in their right mind would buy anything confiscated from a mass murdering thug who has a propensity to escape jail. Even if he didn’t get out you can be sure as hell if something was still buried there a baddie would be round to dig it up……and put the new owners in the hole instead.

Same thing if you buy a luxury yacht or jet! Who knows what booby traps are still on these things and remain undetected? One minute you open a locker door below decks to what you think gives access to the pipes in the blocked head (loo) next minute you reveal neatly stacked cellophane wrapped blocks of cocaine before ka-boom and you are in Davy Jones’ locker.

It’s not like your relatives are going to sue the Government. ‘Caveat Emptor’ would be my position if I was the City Official who sold it at auction. “What do you expect to find hidden if you go poking about in some narco king-pin’s favorite toy? A Christmas tree?”

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2021... about bloody time!

December 29, 2020
Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law Friends Kids/Family/Relations Uncategorised
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Why...

I shall stay up till midnight this New Year’s Eve?

Like guests who have overstayed their welcome and I shed crocodile tears as I wave a relieved good bye, I shall bid an un-fond farewell to 2020. Indeed, I shall stay up to make sure we do go into January 1st 2021 rather than have Groundhog Day and get stuck on 31 December 2020.

There is no need to dwell on the all the obvious reasons of why I shall be ecstatic to say Adieu to 2020; US elections, riots, Brexit and COVID.

Here are a few less known things that have expired and I am saying goodbye to in 2021.

My Tabasco sauce of five years,

My Lea & Perrins of ten years ago and

Any Twinkie cakes buried in the cupboard and bought when my Kindergarten teacher was born must also now go the the giant dustbin in the sky.

I know that within a month of every electrical guarantee expiring, the gadgets will all go phut... unless I paid money for an extension on the guarantee. The equipment will duly give up the ghost the next day after expiry of the longer warranty.

Unbelievably, beer only lasts four months from bottling. Whoever has kept beer that long anyway?

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Going going gone...(money and common sense)

June 25, 2020
Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law Life
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Why...

Do my brains turn to mush at auctions? No matter how hard I try, if my wife and I go to an auction, I manage to find something that I cannot possibly live without. The fact I never knew there were such things as Chinese fire alarm sticks, Japanese tangerine bowls, 1850 suppository machines, or opium smokers headrests is irrelevant. Once discovered, life is not worth living without them. Once I have made that leap, I am free-falling into the money pit that is bidding. Now not only is my life incomplete without Winston Churchill's dentures or silver sugar tongs in the shape of a wishbone, but no one else can have it! Even if I promise my wife a limit at auction, seeing someone else outbidding me is as provocative as a Bernie Saunders supporter at a Trump rally. So I end up triumphant paying too much for something that in the cold light of day is as useful as a chocolate teapot (let me know if any readers have one for sale).

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My new burglar alarm

April 16, 2020
Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Food & Drink
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Why...

Are some people in a mad rush to buy guns to protect themselves?

If I was a burglar, top of my list would be offices and closed shops where a smorgasbord of goodies are waiting for my light fingered touch. And no one to disturb me.

The last place I am going to want to visit is a house full of cooped up maniacs. However, if I did, I’d be brandishing enough firepower to storm Omaha beach or a riot on Black Friday.

In the remote chance that I was to choose a domestic target I would not go near a house with Covid-19. Simple.

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You are paid too much

Why...

Have I gone all ‘Jeremy Corbin’ and ‘Bernie Sanders’ on pay? If you set up your own business, gambled everything, worked long hours and against all odds made a success, you deserve every penny; so long as you also appreciate those that helped you. Show me a self made gazillionaire and the quality of his character is not the amount of money he made himself, but the others he made rich along the way. What use he has put surplus cash to is also a good yardstick. Yes, a jet if you must, but not with solid gold loos. But endless spending on self self self shows a deeply insecure narcissist (I am referring to some Rap Artists, Reality Stars, Actors Actresses and the late Leonora Helmsley). CNN and WTBS founder Ted Turner maybe one of the largest landowners in the US and it’s most charismatic entrepreneur, but he gave US $ 1 billion to the UN. I cannot speak for Bill Gate’s business methods but he has at least put his proceeds of Microsoft to good use. What I am finding hard to swallow is the salaries for CEO’s and CFO’s for publicly quoted companies that run into tens of millions a year, even when failing to hit targets and with collapsing share prices. I am a filthy money loving scumbag and admit I like many fine and expensive things. If I have a successful year great. If not, gritted teeth. But had I still been in the corporate world working for an established company, is there not a salary level when you are just taking the piss? Although I expect a CEO to be compensated and also get a bonus tied to performance... surely there is a limit? Take David M. Zaslav - CEO Discovery Inc. Total compensation in 2018, $129.49 million. That seems a bit excessive or the two CEO’s at Oracle at around $108m with stock options. In fact Fortune and Forbes magazines reported recently that some of the highest paid CEO’s were running some of the poorest performing companies. How about Kent Thiry of dialysis chain Davila getting $32m with a negative return of 29% or Art Pack at Gap getting $20.8m when during his four years they had a negative return of 21%. What the hell are the remuneration and compensation committees doing... oh yes. Of course. They are mostly made up of equally overpaid overbearing overlords. I don’t wish to come across as Mary Poppins but this kind of remuneration in a public company comes across as just vulgar!

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No, it’s not an illness nor a condition... it’s lack of self-control

October 18, 2019
Entertainment/Media/Arts Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Kids/Family/Relations Sex Sport
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Why...

Is everything bad that happens to young people not their fault or beyond their control? However, if anything good happens, especially by blind stupid luck (yes, you lottery winners & Love Island/ Big Brother) it is all down to destiny and a well-deserved reward from society ‘for being me’... especially if I am lazy and lack a nanogramme of skill. We have created a generation that is obsessed with the self and values just existing as a reason to enjoy rewards, regardless of any talent (a bit like the succession in the monarchy....). When growing up, my generation wanted to have a talent to allow us to be an astronaut, athlete, Rock God, movie icon, Wall Street Titan or porn star. Ambition was about having talent. A recent survey showed that the most popular ambition now is to be a reality TV star; i.e. not bother with learning to fly, run, play an instrument, sing, act, count or keep a hard on for a day! Basically, you just permanently shop, make vacuous statements and put your name to a line of cosmetics to get paid buckets of money. If you have butt cheeks between which you could park a Harley Davidson, even better.

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Anyone who yells “I know my rights”... invariably does not

Why...

Do people think watching episodes of Law and Order or Judge Judy qualifies them to understand all aspects of the law, when most don’t know their writs from their tits? During my last trip in the aluminium hen coop they call Air Malta, I tilted my chair back a fraction. As some of you know I have had back surgery and sitting bolt upright for three hours is painful. Immediately behind me this beached whale kicked the back of my chair and slapped the top of my head yelling, “I know my rights. Put your chair back in upright position. I have no room.” Rather than get into a huge fight, I simply pulled out a card and gave it to him, whispering, “So, do I”. He shut up. It was not my card, but a lawyer’s card from one of the UK’s top law firms I had recently visited. It read Senior Litigation Partner.

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When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you

Why...

Are we surprised at the contempt in which politicians hold the voter? There was a comment the other day on the radio from a frustrated Brit who mewed: “If my vote really meant anything they would take it away.” The honest answer is, no need... it’s simply ignored.

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Say what you like about Trump... at least he understands deals need to close

Why...

Has the great European jaw-jaw resulted in a draw-draw? When the history of Brexit is eventually written, no matter on which side of the great divide you stand, the sheer lack of understanding by politicians as to what a clock is, will stand as a supreme lesson. I cannot think of a peace treaty let alone a deal negotiation which has taken two years... and that does not look like it’s long enough! At the time of writing this blog, it seems like the negotiation is going into extra time to prevent everyone throwing their toys out of the pram. Yet, so far this chit-chat (note: with our friends and allies) has cost the British taxpayer on expenses, travel and outside consultation fees around £600m. Nearly a billion dollars and it’s got nowhere. That is in itself such a monumental achievement I have to pinch myself whilst re-reading my own text. To paraphrase dear Winston, “Never in the field of human negotiation has so much time been wasted at so much cost by so few to the utter bewilderment of so many...” Like him or not I suspect the UK might have saved a fortune by asking perma-tanned occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to thrash out a deal for a fee of say £100m, with a £100m bonus if he could wrap it all up in the time it takes the English cricket team to play a test series. Sadly, La Donald had just got another job when this all started so we might have needed another slippery deal maker. Anyone know what happened to the other Donald, Don King?

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Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery - it’s breach of copyright.

February 21, 2019
Entertainment/Media/Arts Finance/Law Life
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Why...

Have these little blogs been sprouting up elsewhere? Recently I may have been suffering delusions of grandeur as a bunch of themes from my recent missives seem to have been turning up in the wider press in a number of musings of weekly columnists. Of course it could simply be that great minds think alike and fools seldom differ. However recent posts about the Oscars (Oscar night... just has me riveted to my seat, January 24th) and hidden car rental charges (Extra! Extra! Read All About it... Actually we’d rather you didn’t which is why we put the extra costs in the fine print, January 5th) have both popped up in British national newspapers. So if you are a bored columnist itching for a quick answer to your highly paid weekly article... sod off. Otherwise I shall be forced to ask the advise of my litigious Japanese lawyer Mr. So-Sue-Me. Of course these regurgitations of my latest ramblings could be pure coincidence in the same way as those columns which have included ideas might find their articles repeated here... quite uncanny!

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Oscar night.....just has me riveted to my seat

Why...

Give a damn about the Oscars? The whole thing has got further up its arse than a proctologist’s middle finger. No one cares, because the last decade’s nominated movies are quasi arthouse that do not resonate with the audience. In an attempt to show making movies is really all abaht aaaart, dahling, the Academy has recently become all coy about nominating truly mass appeal movies. And who was responsible for this sudden fit of hubris, a desire to show a more cultured less crass side of the entertainment industry? A man imbued with a strong sense of the aspirations of the pinnacle of quality and not our baser instincts; Harvey Weinstein. Pay attention Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. You want to know why the Oscar shindig is as exciting as watching toast getting cold? Try looking at the movies you allow to get nominated....let alone win! The last ten years’ winners were , LaLa Land, Moonlight, Spotlight, Birdman, 12 Years a Slave, Argo, The Artist, The King’s Speech, The Hurt Locker, Slumdog Millionaire. I can barely remember what most of these are about? They may be worthy but are minnows compared with the 1970’s. The winners that decade were: Patton, The French Connection, The Godfather, The Sting, The Godfather Part II, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Rocky, Annie Hall, The Deer Hunter, Kramer vs Kramer. You’ve probably seen them all, and I can pretty clearly remember the stories even though released 40-50 years ago. US viewer audience for 1970 Oscars 55.2 million. US viewer audience last year, 26.5 million The only thing that sank faster was The Titanic (one of the last broad appeal movies to win back in 1997/8). I am pretty certain neither Rocky, Patton nor The Sting if made now, would even be nominated. So dear fellows and voters of the Academy, try and remember you are in the ENTERTAINMENT Industry. Get back to your roots and out of your ego. Start nominating movies that mean something to the general public and they might watch the awards!

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POA... the dumbest words on any advertisement!

January 19, 2019
Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Life Technology
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Why...

Does any advertiser not understand that POA/ Price on Application actually stands for Pisses Off Anyone? When idly leafing through a six-month-old copy of Country Life at the dentist, I am amazed at the practice of sticking POA against the price of some of the houses advertised for sale. Same for when I pour over my monthly car porn magazines and fantasise about which classic car I might buy when my ship comes in (and after I have suitably bribed my wife with whatever retail therapy most floats her boat). What is the logic behind Price On Application? It’s an immediate turn off. Is it because there is such heat in the market that from day of publication to day of printing that prices will inexorably rise? I thought in terms of property, that was illegal and called gazumping. You always agree a price with the vendor that’s as fixed as an airline stewardesses smile. We live in a digital age. Prices can be checked and compared in a nano-second. Is the advertiser insinuating: “So, pay attention here. Most of you great unwashed, don’t get your hopes up. You cannot afford it and I simply cannot be bothered to talk to anyone before I know he or she has the readies to cough up the ludicrous sum I don’t dare print.” This is appalling customer service as it forces me to pick up a phone or log on to reveal this nugget of information. My time is being wasted by this ludicrous printed version of the dance of the seven veils. Don’t be coy Mr. Advertiser. Show me what you got! On occasions when bored (usually when waiting at airports) I give in to the devil in me and ring the offending advertiser: “Good morning. I wonder if you would tell me the price you are asking for the ‘Gilt-Palace-Nightmare’ in Dubai or ‘Please-stop-and-arrest-me-gold-plated-yuk-wagon’ advertised in the current edition of Shiny Things I can’t Really Afford?” When given the number, my unerring response is: “That cheap! No wonder you did not want to advertise the price as it shows how little you know about market value.” Sit back and then listen to a ten-minute barrage of self-important claptrap. It passes the time before boarding.

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Do you wanna be in my gang?

June 22, 2018
Finance/Law Food & Drink Life Politics Sex Technology
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Why...

Do we seek solace mixing with people who on joining a group or club revert to stereotype? “I never want to be a member of a club which would let me in,” may be a classic Groucho Marx line and a cliché but for good reason... It’s true. I have been very lucky to have been invited as a guest to several clubs and they break down into the following seven categories. Back to school There are a handful of Gentlemen’s Clubs in London holding a male only policy. They are all in Pall Mall and St. James and distinctly different to other Gentleman's clubs that can only operate by having scantily club members of the opposite sex. The London Gentleman’s club is really just public school (private school in the US) for boys who never grew up and miss nanny. The place runs on old fashioned rules. The Nanny organises the social desk and membership fees but that’s the only woman you will see. You better turn up in a tie, shoes polished, nails clipped and hair brushed. Yes, you can drink, but do not get rowdy. Most of the food is what I call nursery menu. A perfect lunch would be: Windsor soup, Steak and Kidney Pudding, Jam Roly-Poly, & Welsh Rarebit. Conversation through the meal with other members sharing your refectory style table equally as stodgy and bland. This is followed with a port and a snooze reading yesterday’s The Times. These throw-back establishments work on handed down privilege, who you know and how you behave. I am sorry to delude new members who have fought their way up in society through hard work and brains to join but… Old Biffo and Squiffy in the corner still look down on you as nouveau riche; the same way they dismissed Johnny Foreigner as a new boy at Rugby or that boy with the flash watch as parents “working in trade”. Back to Basics Health clubs. No frills. Over sophisticated gym equipment and eye wateringly expensive juices, drinks and rabbit food. Staff preachy and superior with bodies buffed to within an inch of their lives. Off peak these caverns of sweat are filled with the bored and rich. These poor souls have nothing else to do except cheat on their partner and sneak off for plastic surgery to show the results of all the dieting and training they pretend to follow. Peak time it’s just an overcrowded dating agency. Back to the Future The Lovie playroom. Media based haunts are filled with overloud voices recalling their last meeting with Brad and Angelina, how genuine the Spielberg’s are and what a shame about Amy’s drug abuse. Always in slightly seedy parts of town set up by failed media wannabes who see this as their entree into the glitterati. The propeller head equivalent of techy clubs are full of earnest members trying to convince you to invest in some crypto crapto currency or hint they might get you into an angel start up fund with guaranteed returns. “So, you’ve invested yourself,” is a sure-fire way of getting rid of them... and leaving you with absolutely no one to talk to. Pointless. Back to the Wall The exclusive nightclub. Exclusive because there are only so many people willing to spend £10k a year for membership to an overcrowded noisy hell-hole that charges prices that are an insult and a door policy that admits only good-looking people with an IQ quota the same as their shoe size. To make it worse should you be insecure enough to have to order a five litre bottle of vodka or a jeroboam of champagne for £1,000, the staff bring attention to your vulgarity by having sparklers light up the bottles as they bring them to you and alert everyone else in the place who is tonight’s soft touch. If you have to go to one for a night of drug fueled fun, you never want them to have your real name anyway. Always make sure someone else is the member. Back in the saddle The Horsey Club. Filled with overweight florid faced men and woman who bray when they laugh. If you ask for the bridal suite it’s a large room full of saddles, riding crops and Gucci buckles and the last place you’d want to spend your honeymoon. If you can separate the bullshit from real horse manure you might get a good tip on a horse. The Back Nine What can I say about a golf club except I don’t want to join one. Ever. It’s a chance for you to dress up like an extra from a Blaxploitation movie, though ethnic minority representation still remains low. Members may slice their tee shots to the left or right, but politics is invariably to the right. I speak with some experience here when in Myrtle Beach a club member made the mistake of asking me my opinion on abortion. “The obvious answer is it is not really a man’s decision; though if it were men who got pregnant, I suspect termination would be so easy it would come from an ATM machine. “No religion recognises a miscarriage or the trauma that causes. So, until they do they cannot go on about the rights of a foetus.” He pulled a gun on me and called security to eject the “limey liberal pinko”! Back Inside There is a great line in the TV series set in a woman’s prison Orange is the New Black with a character greeting a new inmate saying… “Welcome to the 1950s”. The speaker is not referring to the building or facilities. But to the clubs. The Narco Mexicans stick to one group, The Neo-Nazis another, right down to the Nepalese Horse thieves or Belgian child molesters. Everyone has a group. It’s basic. It’s for protection. So, on that note console yourself that Bernie Madoff is not the wife of some 6’6” ex Cripps member but closely closeted with some other fraudster both cheating at monopoly but a least paying protection money to keep their balls.

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All posts in category: Finance/Law

🎶Memories are made of this🎵

Why...

If an airline can charge you for a seat on a plane that does not exist, why can they also charge you if you don’t appear at the gate?

Why...

It’s not about the money … honestly

Why...

It’s an ATM not a Nintendo game boy

Why...

Things I want to buy Duty Free

Why...

🎶 I’m busy busy busy doing nothing 🎶

Why...

Officer. Arrest that man. His clothes fit

Why...

Going going going. Sold to you sir. Expect to die horribly

Why...

2021... about bloody time!

Why...

Going going gone...(money and common sense)

Why...

My new burglar alarm

Why...

You are paid too much

Why...

No, it’s not an illness nor a condition... it’s lack of self-control

Why...

Anyone who yells “I know my rights”... invariably does not

Why...

When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you

Why...

Say what you like about Trump... at least he understands deals need to close

Why...

Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery - it’s breach of copyright.

Why...

Oscar night.....just has me riveted to my seat

Why...

POA... the dumbest words on any advertisement!

Why...

Do you wanna be in my gang?

Why...