There are only two things I dislike about you... your face.


Not admit it. A sprinkling of hypocrisy adds spice to life. It’s the one time us mortals feel superior to those meant to be our elders and betters. Rumours abound that after playing arenas in the US, rather than diving into a mound of cocaine and groupies in their bedroom suites, certain Dinosaurs of Rock head out to the airport and a private jet to make sure they never spend a night in the USA... all to avoid tax. Very spirit of Woodstock! It even appears from the Paradise Papers that the saintly Bono may have feet of clay... that he no doubt leases back to himself to avoid Value Added Tax. I commented a couple of weeks ago on the squeals of surprise from industry bigwigs over the Harvey Weinstein revelations. This week in the wink of an eye Netflix have disowned Kevin Spacey for alleged serial behavior they of course knew nothing about....despite working cheek by jowl over several years! They did however know House of Cards had been instrumental in their growth into a media behemoth. And yet I can’t help having a sneaking admiration for those who so blatantly do not practice what they preach. Armstrong’s filmed condemnation of the use of drugs in sport is a truly Academy Award Winning performance. Knowing that Tax and Finance Ministers have secret bank offshore bank accounts, Televangelists get filmed in orgies and fitness trainer’s washboard stomachs are from liposuction, makes people in authority less terrifying. Next time you are in front of a male judge imagine under that wig and robes are fishnet stockings and six inch Manolo Blahniks. Then he ain’t quite so intimidating.

...and another thing

Religion of every stripe also seem to have a fair share of double standards. Everything from the local Rabbi sneaking a bacon sandwich to my favourite example, Prince Aly Khan. Caught drinking champagne at Ascot and challenged by a reporter the teetotal leader of several million Nizari Ismaili Muslims and husband of Rita Hayworth was alleged to have replied…

“My dear sir. I do not consume alcohol. I am so holy that the moment champagne touches my lips it turns to water!”

...and another thing

Even Governments are not exempt from bald faced double standards. Since 1937, Cannabis has been deemed a Schedule 1 drug in the United States. This classification means the substance has no medical benefits at all.

Yet low and behold the US Government holds US Patent number 6,630,507 B1 for which it charges pharmaceutical companies a royalty… for yup. You guessed it… a medical patent from Cannabis when used as an antioxidant and neuroprotectant.

...and another thing

However, it would be refreshing if when caught out the guilty don’t blame their parents, diet, neurosis or that they are lactose intolerant. Embrace it.

I once met a fantastic lady who is now working with Mike Tyson. A very bad boy who mostly took things on the chin but was shunned by many agents. I suggested she expand her repertoire to include any bad boy or girl. Even call the Agency Bad Seed.

Imagine the street cred it would give clients. If you get caught with your pants down or drugs going up and CAA or WME kick you out, only if really, really  naughty might you get invited to join the agency.

Poor old Tiger Woods. He never recovered after being caught with one too many Dairy Queens and made to go all well behaved.

I’d have had him at the Bad Seed Agency and generated millions promoting Jack Daniels, Trojans and Grand Theft Auto. And I bet he’d now be winning trophies.

There’s gold in them hypocrisy hills!

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