I'm sorry. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Why...

Are we so surprised that people die. It's the one reliable thing all humans do. In 2016 some people believe that the Grim Reaper cruelly took his scythe and cut down a larger than normal number of celebrities. Of course it's nonsense. It's a statistical certainty that every year more and more famous people die as fame itself exploded in the fifties and sixties by quintupling the number of celebs with the advent of TV and pop stars. Sadly some are just getting old or a lifetime's effect of drugs and booze takes its toll. (OK I can't explain Keith Richards. Does he actually cast a shadow? Has anyone seen him out in sunlight?) Not only has the internet given us professional offendees (http://www.andanotherthing.com/so-who-made-you-a-professional-offendee/#andanotherthing) but now we have remote mourners. Allegedly Clint Eastwood said the strangest by product of being famous for a long time is people believe, as you have been part of their life, they somehow are a part of yours. This must explain the tsunami of tears that drown out every other aspect of news when someone famous shuffles off the mortal coil. People openly howl with grief, lay out flowers and even take a day off work when pop star Bent Axl, sixties glamour puss Lavinia Nightly or TV reality star Booty Licious pegs it but care not a hoot for a hobo who died in the street. Please don't tell me one life is worth the same as another. In the mourning stakes column inches in the tabloids is directly related to decibel level of global wailing.

...and another thing

On the basis that cryogenics is a tad of a long shot (what happens if there is a power cut, do all these corpse go from frozen to semi-fredo)? I really don’t mind what happens to my remains. I’d rather not be ground up as chicken feed but the idea I have to occupy a piece of land 10 foot by four is clearly potty. If the world population keeps growing, we are going to need a burial plot the size of Australia just to keep the dead! Nope. De minimus you should be buried standing up….unless you are in politics when in keeping with your career you can stand on your head for eternity.

...and another thing

If only the good die young can someone explain Robert Mugabe or Hello Kitty? Kim Jung Il will no doubt live until 100. Nope Death, like God, has a deep seated sense of humour mixed with a dollop of randomness. But eventually we all cash in our chips. If you are famous, better leave a pile of money in your will for added security at your funeral or maybe donate a few thousand boxes of Kleenex tissues to the mourners.

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