🎵 Well it’s one for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, Now throw, cat, throw 🎵


Have people started flinging things at stage performers? Adele recently at her  Las Vegas concert dared anyone to throw anything at her and see what  happened!   Well, it’s not exactly a new phenomenon. Originally performers were paid by  money thrown at them on stage. I assume the more that was thrown the more  grateful they were.   Tom Jones has had enough knickers thrown at him to supply a decent sized  Marks and Spencer store and no doubt Ozzy Osbourne has enough headless  bats to build a wall.  Recently the objects have ranged from a lemon at Arianne Grande (is that a  subtle comment), a dildo at Lil Nas X, a mobile phone lobbed at Drake, a  teddy at Lady Gaga and weirdest of all, the urn of a fan’s dead mother’s  ashes tossed at Pink! (Before that someone tossed her a Brie de Meaux  cheese)!   There are three issues here that worry me. Firstly, who goes to a concert with  a massive roundel of cheese or even a funeral urn as something suitable to  toss at a performer. Secondly, with supposed security at these events how on  earth do they get in? Thirdly, don’t the people sitting next to them think this is  a tad unusual?

...and another thing

I must admit at times I have thrown things at performers, usually at current  affair hosts and with the only damage being to my own TV. 

Throwing things at people whom we disapprove of also has a long history.  Bringing back the stocks and letting us throw cow pats or custard pies at  whoever is grabbed inside might be a far better deterrent for small crimes  than a few hours of social working. There could be a sliding scale. X many  cow pats for first offence with y number of throwers. Escalating to a full squad  of throwers and a mountain of cow pats, hosing the victim down occasionally  with the final insult of the offender in the nude. I think I might have something  here. Take the arrogant shine off some looters’ and muggers’ faces. And we  could charge to watch.

...and another thing

Whilst I understand that the wonderful Lady Gaga flicked aside something  thrown at her and went on signing without missing a beat, most performers 

are understandably taken aback at being used as target practice and are lost  for words. 

They should remember the inimitable Oscar Wilde. When leaving the theatre  one night with his lover Lord Alfred ‘Boise’ Douglas, Douglas’ father, the  Marquess of Queensbury was waiting and threw a rotten cabbage at Wilde.  He deftly caught it and smiled taking a deep breath of the rotting vegetable as  if a bouquet of flowers. 

“Why, thank you, your Grace. Every time I smell it, I shall think of you’, he  replied. 


Keep safe 

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