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š¶Clang, clang, clang went the trolley Ding, ding, ding went the bellā¦.š¶ But the traffic didnāt budge.
Why...
Would anyone go Christmas shopping in town anymore? Crowds of people, traffic moving slower than treacle, and endless Christmas songs. I understand Mariah Carey has made nearly $100m in royalties on āAll I Want for Christmas is you.ā Thatās enough to turn me into the Grinch.
...and another thing
Shop assistants wearing antlers or elf hatsā¦ I hope they get paid more extra for that. I usually tell them, āDonāt worry, Iām sure the CCTV will prove the management made you wear them.ā And then thereās the store Santa Claus. The one whose knee I sat on as a kid always smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. Still, it could be worse. I read a feature on changing Santa imagery, noting that a shopping mall in Pennsylvania hired a transgender Santa as part of a broader move toward more inclusive representations of Saint Nick.
...and another thing
The final nail for me, however, is the virus that started in New York of being asked to give an āoptionalā service charge of between 20%-30% when presented with a bill in a shop! Why am I expected to pay an assistant up to 30% of the cost of a shirt I pulled from the rack myself? Itās madness. In fact, I fully expect that if I get pulled up for a traffic infringement in New York, Iāll be charged a service fee on top of the fine!
...and another thing
The things people suggest as Christmas presents is mindboggling. Everyday stuff suddenly gets bundled into a fancy package as an ideal present. Pens, mugs, kitchen rolls, all get slapped with a Christmas image and are seriously offered as potential gifts.Ā I even saw snowflake printed toilet rolls being marketed as āholiday essentials.ā
So, the real challenge is to keep your sanity, buy a few truly worthwhile gifts, and avoid the mass hysteria of the high street. It is certainly the Christmas gift I give myself along with a decent bottle of vintage rum.
Happy Christmas, everyone.
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