Ancient persians debated laws twice - drunk and sober. They only enacted them if they came to the same decision

Why...

Did our forebears not only display deep wisdom but also a sense of humour dealing with the law? I am not advocating chopping a baby in half, as suggested by King Solomon, as an optimal solution to a disagreement. However, the slap of common sense across the face of the ‘litigators’ was what worked.

...and another thing

Common sense is what is so clearly missing from our courts today. Absurd cases—brought by lawyers looking for a Hail Mary award (from which they take a big percentage)—should equally face massive fines if the judge sees through the ridiculousness and the waste of court time.

Nevertheless, the following have actually been in a US courtroom:

A woman who sued a weatherman whose forecast was wrong.

  • PETA sued on behalf of a monkey to own copyright of a photo he ‘took’.
  • A judge sued a dry cleaner for US$54m for losing his pants.
  • A woman sued a grocery store for US$34,000 for emotional damage after a mislabeled cherry pie was in fact an apple one.
...and another thing

Occasionally, though, I cannot help but smile at the sheer gall and inventiveness of cases brought on the outer shores of the legal system.

My favourite was a prisoner who sued himself for violating his own religious beliefs by getting drunk, and asked the state to pay damages as he was a ward of the state.

...and another thing

I do have a wild theory as to why my transatlantic cousins in the USA love the courtroom.

If you lived in a one-horse town out in the West a couple of centuries ago, entertainment was limited—unless you count the local whorehouse, which had limited family appeal.

The equivalent of today’s reality TV—Big Brother, Survivor, Shark Tank and Judge Judy all rolled into one—was the local courthouse. The law was entertainment, and if the disputes were occasionally daft, all the better. Real tension was added if the loser faced having his neck stretched, giving a touch of desperation to the proceedings. This no doubt gave the genteel ladies present a frisson of disgust mixed with safety. When the visiting judge came into town to hear the cases, it was a red-hot date never to be missed.

...and another thing

Crime and law both in drama and reality, swamp any other category in TV entertainment. Everything is sorted in either 45 or 22 minutes. If only real life were the same!

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