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See all posts for October2015

A pot of tea? Do you want that with first or second degree burns?

  • October 29, 2015
  • Food & Drink Life
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Is enjoying tea time now an obstacle course filled with things that want to kill us or poison us? Firstly take the stainless steel teapot so beloved by British Rail and tea rooms full of characters from an Agatha Christie thriller? Where do we start? Well, the steel perfectly transmits the heat to the handle, so it’s bloody hot. In addition this handle so close to the pot you can hardly hold it. Brilliant!  Even with a napkin wrapped round the handle to prevent baked fingers, my knuckles still brush against the pot giving me the first set of burns. The second set follow soon after as I drop the damn pot with a yell, blowing on my burnt knuckles. The spilled tea then obligingly runs along the table into my lap causing more burns on a very delicate part of the anatomy. After hobbling off to the bathroom to put a cold compress on my nether regions, the waitress cleans up the mess and returns with yet another hand-grenade of tea.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

It drives me potty

  • October 22, 2015
  • Uncategorised
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

THIS WEEK’S BLOG IS NOT FOR THE FAINTHEARTED! Are Englishmen so obsessed by poohing and the loo? It is of course a historical fact that Englishmen have been the world’s greatest plumbers, including the wonderful Thomas Crapper. He set up shop in Chelsea and although did not actually invent the flushing loo itself, he did invent such masterpieces as the ballcock and the spring loaded seat. His Royal Warrants (issued as an endorsement of use by the Royal Household) in the mid-1800s gave the new-fangled machine public approval and was key to its acceptance in homes. The obsession is frequently commented on by visitors from abroad, staying at our home. After a long dinner party, the conversation can so easily turn to bodily functions. The time and observations my English friends make whilst ‘on the throne’ can be discussed ad infinitum. It is said the average person spends three months on the loo during his or her lifetime. That, of course, is utter nonsense for the Englishman who would measure their lifetime’s use in decades.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

If it’s cheap…it will last a lifetime

  • October 15, 2015
  • Fasion Health & Beauty Finance/Law Life
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Do I have drawers full of cheap reading glasses yet empty Persol, Gucci and Porsche glasses cases?

It seems to be a rule of life when you buy an expensive version along with a few cheap ones on the side, the cheap one sticks to your life like chewing gum to fur, but in an instant the expensive version is lost.

In the kitchen the potato peeler I use was bought from a street urchin in Vietnam years ago but the fancy Alessi one my wife gave me in my stocking for Christmas fell into the waste disposal on Boxing Day.

I cannot begin to count the number of Fox’s umbrellas, Cartier fountain pens, Ray Ban sunglasses, AKG earphones, or fancy schmanzy watches I have lost over the years. However as I sit at my desk there is a biro dated 2006 in front of me, my desk drawer has endless cheap Apple earphones and my car has an umbrella I bought in Hong Kong during a down-pour for HK$1 in 2002. There is even a ten year old Swatch on my wrist.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

Is Progress overrated?

  • October 8, 2015
  • Life
  • View all 1 Comment
Why...

Do we still use outdated things? I used to think the business card would go the same way as the Beastie Boys, the cheque book and New Coca-Cola….. However whilst the three I mentioned are pretty well dead and buried I found myself ordering new business cards. It seems so strange that in a paperless world, with the only thing written on a piece of paper are all your passwords (and that’s f&*cked up if you think about it), why do we still persist in handing over a rectangle of cardboard? I suppose it’s giving a physical thing that underlines the fact you have actually met the person. It’s also a chance to make an impression with the card having a clever design or fancy shape. You know as soon as the person is in the tube or taxi leaving the meeting they will enter the details in their phone and throw the card away…..and yet I just recoil when I meet someone and they simply say, “Give me your email and I’ll send over my details.” It’s a synthetic introduction and you just think the relationship will equally be as false. Which is also why I am not sure sex robots will catch on!

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

My body is a temple, but to my wife it’s an amusement arcade

  • October 1, 2015
  • Fasion Health & Beauty Life Love
  • View all 1 Comment
Why...

When you read the above did you think of sex? Well in fact that may indeed be the subject of andanotherthingXrated.com but I was referring to something else.

My wife likes nothing better than to squeeze blackheads on my back, pull hairs out of my nose and rebuke me about the length of my toenails! I am thankful that I don’t have a hairy back as I suspect the hot wax would be out in an instant.

There are times when I feel like one of those monkeys who sit quietly as their partner grooms them.

It’s a contradiction to me that I remind myself to compliment my beautiful wife when she has her hair done or buys a new piece of clothing, yet I must remain quiet during these imposed moments of my improvement. The idea I might apply her make-up or pluck her eyebrows would be to invite thermonuclear retaliation!

I found it very revealing that during a recent dinner party someone else mentioned how much she enjoyed this semi painful preening process of (in her phrase) ‘doing the pointwork’ on her husband. It was like he was a Grade 2 listed building. Soon others at the table agreed. It seems there is some inbuilt instinct for the female gender to balance out our Alfa male persona by having us submit to this routine ceremony of buffing and fluffing

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

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