If it’s cheap…it will last a lifetime


Do I have drawers full of cheap reading glasses yet empty Persol, Gucci and Porsche glasses cases?

It seems to be a rule of life when you buy an expensive version along with a few cheap ones on the side, the cheap one sticks to your life like chewing gum to fur, but in an instant the expensive version is lost.

In the kitchen the potato peeler I use was bought from a street urchin in Vietnam years ago but the fancy Alessi one my wife gave me in my stocking for Christmas fell into the waste disposal on Boxing Day.

I cannot begin to count the number of Fox’s umbrellas, Cartier fountain pens, Ray Ban sunglasses, AKG earphones, or fancy schmanzy watches I have lost over the years. However as I sit at my desk there is a biro dated 2006 in front of me, my desk drawer has endless cheap Apple earphones and my car has an umbrella I bought in Hong Kong during a down-pour for HK$1 in 2002. There is even a ten year old Swatch on my wrist.

...and another thing

There is a mountain of single socks in a drawer in my bedroom, single cufflinks in my stud box as well as a pile of Tupperware containers in the kitchen that have lost their tops. It’s not so much the mystery of how links, socks or tops have been separated that is the worry. It’s why on earth do I keep them? Do I seriously believe my lost sock is a ‘homing’ sock and will eventually come back to meet his long lost brother? Will I discover a hidden cache of Tupperware lids in some Indiana Jones type adventure under the floorboards, or my pug discover a cufflink whilst burying the TV remote control in the garden? I am not a hoarder. It’s the Holy Grail of hope that gets me. I can face losing a pair of shoes but when just one goes missing (usually abandoned in a hotel room) I just cannot bring myself to jettison the other into dustbin oblivion as I feel the moment I do, the other one will turn up…(which of course is exactly what happens).

...and another thing

Cars also stay around longer the less you want them. My wife’s cheap runabout has lasted over 12 years and has found a home in the garage for far longer than any of the sports cars I have bought and promised my wife would last me till I am too old to drive!

...and another thing

However be careful as to what ‘pairings’ you define as cheap or expensive. If you are inclined to mistresses, which are heinously expensive the older you get I’m told the quicker you lose them; and the new one is even more expensive. The cheating husband sees his wife as the cheap copy who now just sticks around…until of course she decides to dump her womanising husband, then his alimony will tell the old fool where the real expense lay!

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  1. Peter says:

    So true !! Particularly the sock thing …. By the way – what are you doing losing shoes in hotel rooms ? !!

  2. Yum Yum says:

    LOL…..are you serious about the socks I have a whole heap waiting for their homing brothers to return!! X

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