Don't talk on the phone while I am interrupting…….

Why...

Is it if I’m on a call, my beloved wife can occasionally mouth to me “Who is it? What do they want”? If I manage to answer those questions while at the same time still talking to the caller, she inevitably continues with, “Tell them this… that… or the other…” I end like a United Nations interpreter relaying messages between the two of them. however if I attempt to do the same thing to her, a raised finger of admonition accompanied by a glare that actually lowers the room temperature reminds me it's not a good idea.

...and another thing

Digital interruption is worse than human and is as irritating as a Jehovah’s Witness at a stag party. Recently I was skyping a mate in Australia who insisted that not only is the Queen about to be unceremoniously dumped as head of state but that Waltzing Mathilda would replace Advance Australia Fair as the National anthem, when I get another skype call. Why is there no ‘engaged’ tone on skype for the incoming caller? I have to cut the incoming caller off without apologising as I continue to listen to my Aussie mate blathering on about the cricket.

“England won the last two Ashes,” I remind him. (The Ashes is a cricket match between Australia and the UK that first played in 1882 and takes on a far higher level of importance than a thermo-nuclear exchange).

Once again the curious skype ring tone; a cross between the sound of a gulping frog and the ‘ding’ of an elevator, interrupts. Same person ringing back thinking the connection was simply lost as I tried to answer. Again I shut it off. Now of course the second caller thinks I am just plain rude and sends me an email that suggests that….well…. in polite language maybe my parents were not married (one word) and I should go forth and multiply (two words second being …..off).

I Skype him back.

“Hi. I know you just tried a couple of times. I was not being rude. But this is…” and the Skype connection drops. He takes my opening remark as a blatant insult, (though I had meant to continue with, “This is because I was on another skype call”). The caller takes me off his Skype list and sends me a final Skype message.  “Your idea of good manners are raising your pinkie when pissing through my letterbox. I was trying to ask you to dinner. Go screw yourself.” To add insult to injury I then get a questionnaire from Skype asking me about the quality of my call and rating it.

...and another thing

I also get a similar digital poke in the ear in my car. I’m on a cell call and it’s interrupted by Skype. The other person cannot hear the skype alert. He continues talking as I wrestle trying to shut the skype call off, understand the current call as well as avoid getting penalty points for handling my phone while driving.

Skype, how about a voice activation for when I shout “shut up!” it gently informs the incoming Skyper I am busy and will revert as soon as possible.

And then when I do complete the cell call, the blue tooth now chirps in, “The call has ended.” Just in case after saying goodbye and hitting end I didn’t know what I was doing!

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One Comment

  1. winston says:

    This does explain quite a bit. I have been befuddled on occasion about the dampness of my mail accompanied by the whiff of aroma of asparagus and Cabernet.