The Grand old Duke of York

Why...

Does arrogance always trump common sense? I rarely write about “moments du jour”, that is what editorial in journals and newspapers are for but... I have never watched anything so toe-curlingly embarrassingly thermonuclear-awful as Prince Andrew’s performance on his recent interview with the BBC. Forget about when Pat Nixon (wife of President Nixon and accused of taking bribes) cried on TV that she never had a fur coat, only a good Republican tweed one, or Jimmy Swaggart blubbing from the pulpit begging forgiveness and swearing he is off hookers and cocaine for life...until the following week. It made Sarah Palin’s comment that she knows about Russia coz she can see it from Alaska look positively electrifyingly brilliant. Prince Andrew’s performance was a televisual feast of what not to do. No sympathy for victims, laughable excuses for staying in Epstein’s house for five days, just to tell him their friendship is over, that our hero can’t sweat from a condition from being shot at in the Falklands War, he never noticed girls running about any of Epstein’s houses because he never notices staff. The problem is he is just so honourable! Andrew has managed to take what was a bubbling under story into being front page news for five days worldwide. 6% of viewers believed him!  He has lost a ton of sponsors to his charities, asked to not be Patron anymore to others and as I write agreed to step back from Public Life for the time being. Furthermore, he has pushed the FBI closer to feeling his collar, all because his self belief rode roughshod over other people’s advice. His actual defence is his arrogance and self belief mixed with a confidence he can wing an interview against a real pro. Prince Andrew is his own perfect storm. An IQ rating the same number as his shoe size but thinks he is the smartest man in the room All the on screen charm of a traffic warden with halitosis and as pompous as a Maitre D in an overpriced restaurant Non-existent sympathy for Epstein’s real victims. Indeed he is trying to make himself the victim! I suspect when Prince Charles eventually takes over, a ten year posting to Tristan de Cunha (a remote British atoll in the South Atlantic) will be next on Andrew’s CV.

...and another thing

Many republicans acknowledge the Queen herself has done a very fine job… for seventy years! Most heads of state start to go stir crazy after ten.

Financially what ‘The Firm’ (as the Brits call the Royal Family) generate in income against cost is a no brainer. It’s a great nett earner for UK PLC.

Some say that the Royals make no difference. We all trudge off to Versailles despite no King or Queen… but the fact is most people come to get a glimpse of Liz and our royals. They actually live in these places rather than the buildings being just historic sites mothballed since the guillotine gave the French Aristos a short back and sides.

Royalty still has a place in our hearts still.

I don’t think a Disney movie about The Head of State’s daughter living in a frozen wasteland is going to be box office boffo. Chess without a King and Queen but with a President and First Lady instead does not quite have the same ring. And we all know what happens when the Royalty on a deck of cards is replaced by politicians. Remember the Iraq war criminal deck of cards? All dead.

...and another thing

Lastly and bizarrely I would argue that Royalty is the ultimate democracy. An idiot or a genius can be King. A peacenik or a warmonger, someone with an athletes physique or a body that should be clothed by sofa material. They may have a perfect sense of duty or loathe the role. But the one thing they don’t have is an all consuming desire to be a Politician

See, Monarchy doesn’t sound so bad when you look at it like that.

(Your Maj. if you are reading this a Knighthood would be great).

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