What I have in my pockets is absolute magic...

Why...

Do things in one pocket, move to another or simply disappear? Without fail if I go to the supermarket and load myself up with enough bags to look like a pack animal, no matter which pocket I pat to find the car keys it's always the last one that contains the blasted fob! And there is no rhyme or reason. It's nearly always a different pocket. It has now obsessed me so much that I start looking around for Harry Potter hiding behind a trash can waving a wand or Uri Geller squinting at my trouser pockets from a passing bus....

...and another thing

The same thing happens with car park tickets. I get to the exit and nonchalantly reach into my right hand trouser pocket…. two minutes later  behind me is a queue of irritated drivers whilst I stand outside my car desperately burrowing in every pocket as well as accusing my wife of taking the ticket……only to pull it out of my shirt breast pocket. I never put anything in there.

...and another thing

My wallet has a rather quaint twist on this game called hide the card. Without fail if I need the debit card all I can find are credit cards, if I need my BA mileage card all I can dig out is my Easy Jet one.

Let’s not even talk about dry cleaning tickets! I never find the current one but when I recently Spring cleaned my wallet I found dry cleaning stubs from when I lived in New York in 1997. I even found a cinema stub for Star Wars……( maybe I should sell it on EBay)!

...and another thing

Key rings. Again there is some key ring genie who swaps around my house and garage keys (which of course look identical). I swear the house key is on the right and yet what inspired today’s blog was me shouting at my key ring when the front door finally opened using the key on the left!

...and another thing

My trouser pockets have another magic trick  ‘let’s screw with electronic hotel keys’. This only works if my room is an entire time zone away from the  reception desk and when a housekeeper or chamber maid is rarer than rocking horse pooh.

Initially the key works a couple of times then bang….pull it out of my pocket  late at night after too much to drink at dinner, desperate for a pee and the electronic door guard says “No, this time you can’t come in”.

...and another thing

However the finest disappearing trick of both my pockets and wallet is money. No matter how much I feed their respective appetite for notes, money seems to just disappear.

Maybe that’s why Scottish men (who are notoriously ‘careful’ with money), wear skirts with no pockets at all? I dread to think where they put their car keys though…………

Go Back

Add a comment:

One Comment

  1. Avatar G.M says:

    At one time in the past ,I Remember I had TWO THINGS IN MY POCKET ! THAT BELONGED TO CATO ,BUT YOU DID NOT WANT THEM. TAKE CARE x