🎶 Rudolf the red nose reindeer, 🎵 Had a very shiny nose … due to alcohol and drug abuse?

Why...

Are so many nursery rhymes and fairy tales hidden stories of sex drugs and booze? Let’s start with Rudolf. The only way you have a shiny red nose is excessive booze or cocaine; in which case he certainly should not be driving late at night over vast distances and at warp factor speeds. Snow White. So are we really to believe she lives with seven men and no one tries any hanky panky? Then there are the names. Bashful, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc and Sneezy are all as a result of cocaine. Hence, Snow White. Ah, I see that’s got you all thinking now! We all know Samuel Taylor Coleridge was high as a kite dreaming of Kubla Khan, Xanadu and The Pleasure Dome, when the postman woke him up... only time I suspect he was not happy to have a package delivered. Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass are an absolute drug smorgasbord. Alice is constantly eating magic mushrooms or drinking (laudanum) potions that have a dramatic effect on her. The caterpillar and his (opium) pipe, the white (cocaine) rabbit who is continually and frenetically running about saying he is late, and a cat stoned off his whiskers who simply vanishes.

...and another thing

The amount of fairy stories that involved being pricked (injected) or eating something that changes your appearance or puts you to sleep is mind-bending. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Rumplestiltskin, Rapunsel, and Hansel & Gretel. Let alone Little Red Ridinghood who was so squiffy she thought a wolf was her Grandma. Talking of not seeing straight… how about Beauty, in Beauty and The Beast who fell in love with a plush toy.

And yet, if we were honest it’s the hallucinogenic in fairy stories that attract us to them. The fantasy and separation from reality are the buzz that always end with a return to the norm.

...and another thing

It’s not as if the whiff of opium is reserved for classic fairy tales or even books. The cinema is littered with them. The Matrix.

 “You take the blue pill- the story ends… (Ya boo noooo).

 “You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes…” (Yeyyyyy Take the drugs).

 I am told that a few puffs on wacky baccy makes Disney’s Fantasia a far more enjoyable experience. It would not surprise me if alcohol and narcotics had not played a part in the art direction. Dance of The Hours with bubble blowing elephants and tutu-sporting hippos?

“Hey you guys in background drawings; give me a toke on that joint… yessssss Night on a Bare Mountain Badass Satan and men in nooses.”

...and another thing

However, I suspect there are those of you who refuse to follow this train of thought. So may I wish you all a Merry Christmas, hope a fat man does not get stuck in your chimney, a reindeer not poop in the hearth as he eats his biscuit and the elf on the shelf not drink your best brandy.

Keep safe.

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