šŸŽ¶Clang, clang, clang went the trolley Ding, ding, ding went the bell….šŸŽ¶ But the traffic didn’t budge.

Why...

Would anyone go Christmas shopping in town anymore? Crowds of people, traffic moving slower than treacle, and endless Christmas songs. I understand Mariah Carey has made nearly $100m in royalties on ā€˜All I Want for Christmas is you.’ That’s enough to turn me into the Grinch.

...and another thing

Shop assistants wearing antlers or elf hats… I hope they get paid more extra for that. I usually tell them, ā€œDon’t worry, I’m sure the CCTV will prove the management made you wear them.ā€ And then there’s the store Santa Claus. The one whose knee I sat on as a kid always smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. Still, it could be worse. I read a feature on changing Santa imagery, noting that a shopping mall in Pennsylvania hired a transgender Santa as part of a broader move toward more inclusive representations of Saint Nick.

...and another thing

The final nail for me, however, is the virus that started in New York of being asked to give an ā€˜optional’ service charge of between 20%-30% when presented with a bill in a shop! Why am I expected to pay an assistant up to 30% of the cost of a shirt I pulled from the rack myself? It’s madness. In fact, I fully expect that if I get pulled up for a traffic infringement in New York, I’ll be charged a service fee on top of the fine!

...and another thing

The things people suggest as Christmas presents is mindboggling. Everyday stuff suddenly gets bundled into a fancy package as an ideal present. Pens, mugs, kitchen rolls, all get slapped with a Christmas image and are seriously offered as potential gifts.Ā  I even saw snowflake printed toilet rolls being marketed as ā€˜holiday essentials.’

So, the real challenge is to keep your sanity, buy a few truly worthwhile gifts, and avoid the mass hysteria of the high street. It is certainly the Christmas gift I give myself along with a decent bottle of vintage rum.

Happy Christmas, everyone.

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