Attention impoverished authors, here is a surefire bestseller with forever royalties


Struggle at the typewriter?

It seems to me the woke brigade have won in their determination to extract the humour chromosome from humans along with rejecting any disagreement with their point of view as either racist, right wing or offensive.

Ladies and Gentlemen, where is the woke version of the biggest selling book in the world? No, not Agatha Christie or the terms and conditions of Twitter… but The Bible.

...and another thing

The Bible is a smorgasbord of verses needing revision from the woke generation. This ranges from toning down innumerable acts of violence, usually X smiting Y, to not allowing the use of a tribe as a bathroom accessory… ‘Moab is my washpot.’

Even my heckles rise when I read 3 Leviticus 20:13

‘If a man also lie with man, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.’

Deuternonomy 23:2  must have foreseen the quality of Politicians when you read:

‘A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord’.

Clearly the Bible is not averse to administering a good smack to an errant child. Proverbs 22:15…

‘Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.’ This must leave the woke brigade gasping.

Some I view rather more sympathetically.

Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.’

I suspect however if the beast was a lion it would have dealt with the problem itself.

...and another thing

The reality is like all books (I leave it to the reader to decide whether the Bible is fact or fiction), The Bible simply reflects the age in which it was written. No matter how many times people stamp their feet or bite the carpet in rage at the verbal atrocities committed to paper in the past, you have to balance it with the times.

I have previously written a blog about the absurdity of changing more recent books to suit our current tastes but this works both ways.

Has anyone considered the hilarity the recent woke posse diktats will be met with in the future? Much like we howl at the Victorians putting lace knickers to cover the ‘legs’ of billiard tables, the names of the leading enforcers of the extreme woke views will be mocked for centuries to come.

So please, when you tell me I can only read to my kids ‘Anglo Saxon oppressor and her seven vertically challenged companions,’ as opposed to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ know generations will be laughing at you. They might even ‘smite’ your memory and use your intended legacy as a washpot.

Stay safe.    

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