“Before you pay your bill just some security questions” is the stupidest statement I have ever heard


Do we put up with inane statements or questions?

Let’s start with the one above. The only reason for this, is to be sure it’s me paying my bill. How many people contact a payment desk to pay someone else’s bill?

And if they do why would I give a damn! I mean it’s not as if there are a bunch of Nigerian conmen who have suddenly had a St. Paul like revelation, seen the error of their ways, and are now randomly paying people’s bills for atonement instead of fraudulently emptying their accounts.

This is the kind of nonsense talk that when it starts, all I hear is blah blah blah.  

The next pile in the arse of the digital age are sites who allow you to use PayPal (excellent) but before you can, they ask for all your details... which defeats the point of PayPal. It’s like getting a ‘go anywhere’ travel card on the subway but still having to type in where you came from and where you are going!

...and another thing

Has anyone in the history of humanity on a US Visa entry form answered yes to the following question?

Have you ever participated in criminal acts such as terrorism, espionage, subverts activities and or Genocide. Have you ever planned for criminal acts?”

Tick yes and expect unhindered access to the home of the brave and the land of the free?

I have to agree that it’s very polite of Immigration Services to ask you, whereas any country worth more than $10 GDP scans incoming passenger lists so intently that customs and immigration is really a formality.  If they are going to stop you, it’s pretty immaterial what you write. By recent events in Belarus it looks like we have to fill out the form now for every country we fly over let alone land in!

...and another thing

Life would be much more interesting if once in a while we were asked truly inane questions that at least made us smile, rant or get all coy.

“What size shoes do you have on?”

“Do you fancy Pizza or sex or both tonight?”

“How overweight are you really?”

“Have you cheated on your partner in the last month?”

“If you have pets do they sleep in your bed?”

 In fact these would be far better security questions than:

What is your mothers maiden name? What do you answer if you were  adopted?

Make of first car? What if you have never owned one?

And in my case…

Name of first school? Do you mean first school that did not expel me?

Or maybe the best revenge is to fire back equally stupid answers that you gave on the initial security code so..

  • Madonna
  • Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
  • Hogwarts

…but not on the US Immigration form. Most customs officers display all the sense of humour of an undertaker.

Stay safe.

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