Can’t think of anything funny...


Smile? This week's blog has been tricky. It has not been a funny week. Massacre in Vegas, after effects of storms in the Caribbean, political hair-kari by the Tory Party in the UK, three major European airlines go bust and Spain hell bent on tearing itself apart. This on top of Trump rumbling about North Korea, Iran nuclear deal and the price of paper towels in Puerto Rico. And yet it's finding tidbits that make you smile amongst this smorgasbord of misery and woe that makes life worth living. I watched a video about Extreme Ironing. Yup we may be filling the sea with plastic but there are a group of people whose raisond’etre is taking their iron and ironing board out to the middle of nowhere and performing acrobatics that would make Kevin Bacon in Footloose look like a slug. I am full of admiration that someone can perform a handstand, backflip then cartwheel at the same time as steam iron a shirt….but what was the thought process? Was there a bunch of frustrated dry cleaners who danced around the back of a shop and hey presto a new sport was born……or was there a group of dancers who were unhappy at the quality of the creases in their tutus and tights and decided to take on the challenge with a little bit of help from Balanchine?

...and another thing

Squidgee Nazis. Here in Malta we are suddenly facing an invasion of people with buckets ready to ambush you at traffic lights wiping your windscreen and then demanding payment. A house guest was in my car as I was waiving a demented semaphore to try and shoo them away when my friend started laughing

“What’s so funny?”

“Can you see a standpipe anywhere?” He asked.

I shook my head

“So where do you think they get the water? You always call the windscreen washer the pisser.Maybe these guys took you at your word…..” cue gales of laughter!

...and another thing

Eating out here is an honest pleasure. Food that tries to be over fancy is overpriced whereas simple well cooked local ingredients are sensational. Of the ethnic restaurants the best Chinese on the island closed and we went to the last night. A sad occasion only livened up as our party decided to stop at a local bar for a final drink. As I scoured the drinks menu amongst the Caipirinha, Gimlets, slow screws on the beach and Mai-Tais was a drink that caught my eye;  Whiskey and Cock! Simple mistakes but when you’re half cut we laughed until we cried! Cheers. If the world is getting you down, just have a whisky and Cock and the world will seem alright again!

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