Food fad for Fido?


Is my dog expected to be made to eat like he’s sharing a meal with Leonardo Di Caprio and Paul McCartney? Recently I was shopping for Kangaroo chunks or whatever I thought was dog food but the PC brigade have snaffled it. Instead on the doggie food shelf I counted not one, not two, but three different vegetarian options from our favourite dog food manufacturer. Needless to say my dogs took one sniff and gave me the look. “I am a dog. A carnivore. Not some open-toed sandal wearing tree hugger. I pee on a tree, I bite men’s toes in sandals and if you think I fart a lot normally wait till I start eating these mung beans.”

...and another thing

I know we layer our thoughts and emotions onto our pets but trendy fashion food is too much. It’s bad enough my dog has to behave with political correctness but now he has to eat it?

I find myself saying….

“Notty please… be an equal opportunity growler. You have to bare your teeth at every visitor to make them all shit in their pants instead of only one… and less red meat please. More alfalfa sprouts might mellow you out….”

“My dear doggie friend. Cats are people too. You need to understand Tiddles’  emotional balance rather than eat his tail. Now why not offer him a bite of your nut cutlet and let him have a lick of your tofu bone?”

“No! Get down boy. My leg is not a sex object. Continue this anti-social behaviour you will need to go for treatment at a doggy sex rehab clinic (read that as having your nuts chopped off). I think a little more bromide in your water is what is needed…..”

Maybe next time I catch Mr. Foxy snout deep in chicken feathers I should sit him and Mr. Cockerel down for some anger management classes?

A dear friend has just returned from diving with killer whales. He should have taken a baby seal with him and when he came across a pod suggest to Sammy seal…

“Let’s all go for a friendly paddle with that killer whale so you both can air your differences. We can try and work out some cohabitation techniques?”

No. I am afraid most animals eat something else that was once alive. Dispatching lunch is often terrifying for us to watch but the animal world does not have abattoirs. Nor do they go on diets, or are either gluten or lactose. intolerant… in fact my French Bulldog is only hunger intolerant. He would eat a botulism burger given half the chance.

...and another thing

Today I got an sms from my Pet store to say they have received a fresh delivery of dog food that is not vegetarian… the two new options are fish!

Go Back

Add a comment: