For you Sir, no charge... For Madam though that's $10...


Are some things free for one sex and not for the other? If I order a whisky and soda in a bar, the soda is free. If my wife orders a lime juice and soda and asks the barman to top up the soda she is charged for it! That is logical bollocks. Tea at Starb*cks. Why do I get charged progressively more for a small, medium or large tea when each cup only contains one solitary teabag? So is it the hot water I pay for? Yet if a woman were ask for a cup of hot water to warm a baby bottle… No charge.

...and another thing

Supermarket bags. OK, so the UK makes us pay a few pennies for this environmental acne. However in most countries you are at least offered the option of a free heavy duty paper carrier bag. I feel I should sit on the naughty step when I forget to bring something to carry my six potatoes home in and forced to fork out for another a plastic sack. However those bags do represent something that’s free… me acting as walking billboard for the supermarket’s logo!

As an act of protest I now stuff my car with a multitude of old plastic bags and make sure whichever chain I go into, I put their goods into a bright bag from one of their competitors.

...and another thing

The list of things women get overcharged for is pretty well documented and of course ludicrous; hair-cuts for men versus cut style and blow dry for women;  the dry cleaning charge for a man’s shirt as opposed to the ransom for a woman’s blouse; a six-pack of men’s razors versus three lady shaver blades. The most shameful price discrepancy of all of is swimwear. The loopy cost of men’s swimming trunks as opposed to the lottery win needed to buy a bikini comprising of two strips of dental floss with three triangles of cloth; two for the top piece, one for below.

...and another thing

At the risk of my blog being eviscerated by the PC pa-trolls of the digital universe, sex usually costs men more than women. I’m not talking the dinner, flowers etc that is just good manners, or selling your pride by pretending you like Mamma Mia, “Wow, we have so much in common…” It’s much more blatant than that.

Find me a bar that has free ‘guy’s hour’, a no entry charge for a wet t-shirt competition or no cover charge when dining alone? And before you all get snooty on me, I have witnessed ladies allowed to palm a stranger’s winning chips from the private Salon in Monte-Carlo, to offering a frosty stare when asked to produce a ticket at a black tie event then shimmy unchallenged into the ballroom or nightclub. Were I to try the chip trick, the Casino’s ‘customer relation’s squad’ would be taking me into a back room where a 300lb ‘croupier’ would shuffle my teeth. Gatecrash a posh party and security would unceremoniously drop kick me off the dance floor and into the street. So for sure, some women can wangle a free night.

However I do agree that there are female only costs to the seduction tango; make-up, clothing and perfume can be eye watering. Men don’t dress up before going to bed (although often the cost of the lingerie is sometimes paid for by them). To be brutal men of my generation never paid for contraception as women mostly took and paid for the pill and I understand nowadays in our STD world they often buy the condoms.

No, the thing that costs men so much for sex is deep down we are all insecure! And ladies, you can take that confession to the bank!

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One Comment

  1. Tony Ritz says:

    Bravo!! Again, you hit the nail on the head.

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