From an Iceberg to Mr. Grey’s Handcuffs.


The last wide released Parental Guidance movie to feature an actual sex scene was Titanic way back in 1997. (In today’s overheated classic car market God knows the auction value of the 1912 Renault in which Jack and Rose had their steamy tryst?) Since then, PG rated movies with scenes ‘doing the dirty’ has all but disappeared. Why? The reason is parents. In the US they are now the censor. Mom and Dad really decide if a kid is grown up to see something dark and scary or light and funny. Is it Batman or Ironman? A parent tags along either because a) they want to be on hand if their offspring get too frightened and/or b) might actually want to see the movie themselves! However the kids would rather diet on brussel sprouts and liver than watch a sex scene with a parent present. So if a movie has sex, kids won’t go. Teenagers who have gone to the movie for a date certainly don’t want their style cramped by old farts in the audience. So sex scenes in wide released movies have all but disappeared, replaced by bombs, bangs, bad language, and boys in spandex. Showing the actual act of sex became bad for box office; no matter we all really like to indulge in it. Even movies all about sex, have none… The Hangover 1, 2 or 3 or Bridesmaids for example.

...and another thing

A number of years ago sex exploded onto the internet. It’s free so it killed the old porn business model stone dead. Men seem to prefer hard porn, less so women. They seem to prefer their sex movies such as Emmanuelle, Basic Instinct and 9½ Weeks and even Sex in the City as classy fornication with a strong female lead, with some storyline and production values. These movies were a date movie you could ask a girlfriend to see without getting a slap over the face. And if the guy was lucky, it led to an evening of fun and games under the sheets.

However ‘class porn’ disappeared in the 1990’s from the movie house……… until 50 Shades of Grey came along. It started with a book a woman could be seen reading and not feel it was a flashing light for some sad sack to try and pick her up.

It empowered a generation of women for whom sex in the media had all but disappeared. Author E.L. James was a saviour. Now the box office hit from the book has people from ages 20 -70 flocking to see it. 50 Shades has led not only to a rise in heart rate but in the sales of blindfolds, whips, and ropes along with soothing ointments for cuts….. And of course emergency calls to locksmiths.

Wait and see how quickly Hollywood gets out 50 shades of Grey lookalikes.

Just like a bus you wait for ages for classy date porn to come along then all of a sudden there is a bunch of them.

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  1. Claudio Monk says:

    Bombastic read my old boy, loved it and very amusing, want more.

  2. PAC says:

    Excellent post. Look forward to more …

  3. Tony Ritz says:

    Fantastic!! I thoroughly enjoy your perspective. Want more!

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