Have you got your Easter Bonnet ready?


Do certain holiday traditions fill me with dread... or make me laugh like a hyena.

Easter is a weird holiday. Firstly you never know when it is. Easter Sunday is something to do with a full moon after another date that for me always has the whiff of the werewolf about it. Certainly it’s pagan.

From the Christian point of view it’s ultimately about rebirth but it starts with a pretty grim death. Yet in public lore it seems more to centre on chocolate eggs and hats only someone with a strong neck like Mike Tyson can wear.

And bunnies. How does a bunny get tied to an egg? Maybe David Attenborough can help?

Ozzies hate the bunnies the British introduced and would rather stick needles in their eyes than celebrate them. They have chocolate bilby instead; the bilby being their indigenous rodent and looking like a cross between Pinocchio’s nose and a hare.

...and another thing

Parades. On the one hand you have people dragging crosses and being whipped whilst others are all about happy floats or showing off your latest glad rags on Fifth Avenue in New York City. Can someone help me tie these two together? The only way I can see that, is via some S&M fashionistas!

Food. Whilst most Westerners agree that it’s Turkey and Christmas pudding for Christmas there are no epicurean hard and fast rules for Easter.

Yes Lamb is a favourite though our American cousins rarely eat lamb so fancy baked ham instead. Interesting theory about lamb in US. Obviously cowboys is a clue in the name of who won the red meat war. You don’t hear the word Lamboys (outside of gay clubs anyway). But I suggest lamb needs alcohol or something strong to drink with it. Not water. In the pioneering days water was the drink. Hence lack of popularity?

In Italy it’s roast kid and Argentina Torta Pasqualina… a savoury pie filled with ricotta, hard boiled eggs, spinach, artichoke, and parsley. Slightly weirder is Janssons frestelse (Jansson’s temptation) in Sweden. Why Jansson was tempted by this traditional Swedish casserole, which typically combines potatoes, onions and pickled sprats is beyond me.

But for a real Easter meal mindf**k go to Colombia. There restaurants create dishes of green iguanas, slider turtles and gigantic rodents. Yup, that’s right – Colombians feast on their exotic creatures over the festive period. Since these animals are indigenous to the Latin American nation and active during the springtime, it’s become an increasingly common practice to either sell or cook and devour them as part of their traditional Easter banquet.

Another unlikely addition to the Colombian Easter dinner table is the world’s largest rodent, the capybara, which is typically around the same size of a pig!

...and another thing

As most of the world will be still in lockdown, family meals, parades and services will be few and far between.

Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose”. Back to TV and my Easter treat.  I think I will be more likely to watch something with a bunny than The Last Temptation of Christ.

Thanks Mr.Heffner.


Stay safe.

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One Comment

  1. Peter says:

    I don’t mind Easter too much but I truly dread Christmas. What I dread most is the hysterical buying of Christmas presents particularly for the grandchildren. I have no idea what to get them and truthfully they generally seem more interested in the cardboard box that the presents. Then you are supposed to stuff yourself silly with too much food and possibly or probably drink too much of the falling down liquid. After which you feel lethargic and generally grim. Then there is the ritual of returning almost everything to the charity shop because nobody really knows what I want except me. No …. Easter is far more palatable and I’m going to be perfectly happy with a couple of hot cross buns and later on a chicken and roasted vegetables and a glass of chablis.

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