I need to check into a Sex addiction clinic...


Am I confused as to what happens at a sex addiction clinic? If you are addicted to heroin and you check into a clinic, they have to wean you off using methadone or similar. So if you check in with sex addiction what is the cure process? “OK Mr.Weinstein. We will start you off on three 20 year old nurses a day down to two after the first week. Next sex with the 60 year Old head matron followed by a blow up doll and then finally a cup of cocoa and Mills and Boon novels. If the addiction still persists we will force feed you viagra and lock you in a room for a massage with Shrek’s wife Fiona... and Shrek himself to make up a threesome afterwards”.

...and another thing

And then what? If you are an alcoholic, once you have been through rehab you get a sponsor (who also had the same addiction problem as you).

A sponsor is there to keep you on the straight and narrow. He or she is on call in moments of weakness….

“Hi  Mr. President. Yes I know Hilary is giving back the donations I made. That’s not why I am calling. I am in my hotel suite with three young actresses who have taken off their clothes and wonder if you could come and help……..”

Bill would probably get over to the TriBeCa Grand so quickly there would be a sonic boom.

...and another thing

Puh-lease. Being a grubby pervert and abusing a position of authority is not a sex addict. It’s someone with too much power, an over inflated perception of self worth, and a moral compass that has been magnetised only to point in one direction…. at a crotch. It’s an addiction of being above the law.

As for the cant and hypocrisy currently running through media, it makes

Pontius Pilate’s hand-washing look like a written admission of complicity.

If I was any of the elite talent that denied any knowledge this should have been what their lawyer told them:

“If the bellhop and the valet parker knew of these stories, no one is going to believe you did not. Either shut up or tell the truth. I suggest the following next time you are on Oprah…

‘I knew but said nothing. I was too afraid of the repercussions.’

That at least will buy understanding if not respect.

But after grabbing a fistful of Oscars and Golden Globes to bleat you knew nothing is as believable as saying Pawn Stars is unscripted and Martha Stewart would have made a fine accountant.”

...and another thing

Apart from Weinstein himself the really guilty parties are the Agencies. Some must have known their clients had been assaulted or improperly treated.

They wield huge power. Harvey might have been able to stall an actress’ career but talent agencies like WME and CAA are oxygen to him.

All they needed to do was get together and en masse say:

“Harvey. Not acceptable. Stop or we go public”.

Finally, a dear friend of mine once did cross swords with the eponymous Producer. A few months later they met on a staircase in Cannes where the then head of a Miramax allegedly went into a tirade at my friend ending with the immortal lines “…..I’ll see you never work in this town again.” This is seen as the ultimate threat as how could anyone not want to work in movies??

“Oh thank you Harvey”, my friend replied drolly. “At last I could get out of this business and get a real job”. To my friend’s credit years later he did actually leave and made himself a multi-millionaire in an other field of endeavour.

To Harvey’s credit, after a moment of silence, he laughed.

I suspect he ain’t laughing now.

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  1. Peter says:

    That has made my day !

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