I never know what to put in each recycle bin


Do I have so many types of garbage bins when I deeply suspect it all goes into one galopata galopata machine anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I am doing my best to save the planet, whether it means only cleaning my belly button with a Q-tip once a month, or recycling my dogs poop by tossing it over the wall onto my next door neighbours’ geraniums. But bins?  I have a battalion of these things standing to attention outside my door. The list is endless. Bins for bottles without screw top collar, sacks for those with them… and then subdivided between clear green and brown. 6 just for glass. Life is all receptacles for spectacles, crates for ash from grates, containers for retainers, hoppers for party poppers and repositories for suppositories. The subdivision for rubbish has gone mad. Surely what burns easily and is non synthetic like paper, real food, clothing and coffee grinds in one and synthetics like plastic, tin and any takeaway food in the other… and maybe one for glass.

...and another thing

And why can’t I burn it myself? It appears that some giant incinerator can frazzle all my waste with impunity but if I dare put together a bonfire with a couple of Boy Scouts (helping build the fire, not disposed on it – Editor) and fry up some stale Cornflakes, a milk carton and potato peelings, I get hauled over hot coals rather than my rubbish.

The one thing I cannot complain about here in Malta is we get four collections per week. That’s right. Read that and weep. Four per week… not per quarter, nor per month, but per week! I simply don’t understand why in big cities the counsels whose households they charge like The Light Brigade for rates and services, put up with refuse collection less frequent than a Lottery win.

Of course most of the problem is the Tsunami of packaging we are drowned under. I mean receiving something from Amazon could be used in a kids game of Pass the Parcel. I recently received a box two foot by two foot by two foot that contained three 350g bags of coffee beans. I’d love to be their cardboard supplier. The only rubbish I would put out would be Krug Vintage Champagne and buckets of Beluga caviar.

Keep safe.

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