I want a locker, not a human traffic jam...


Am I forced to share my airspace? On the occasions when my trousers inform me it's time to diet and I need a swim or visit a Pilates studio, I try and visit the gym off peak to avoid the crowds. However even if there are only a dozen people in the gym, the clown giving out locker keys always gives them out consecutively. This means a dozen grown men whilst trying to retain a modicum of decorum,  are all pirouetting on one leg trying to put on underpants on a floor area the size of a doormat...whilst there are row upon row of unused lockers spread over the rest of the changing area.

...and another thing

Airlines of course do the same thing. In the past, filled rows of seating  followed by totally unoccupied rows were due to incompetence. Nowadays on short haul flights, the number of seats you don’t have to pay a premium for are less than the wrinkles on Nicole Kidman’s forehead. So unless I want to cough up $25 to have enough room not to have to sit on my legs, I end up packed like a sardine into the three back rows with the entire midsection as under populated as the Nullaboor Plains.

...and another thing

Cinemas are also guilty of this nonsense. Fine if it’s a full house blockbuster like Fast and The Furious (is this series something to do with curry and getting to the bathroom?) but for an afternoon matinee nothing disturbs me more than sitting cheek by jowl with someone who insists on grazing noisy food for two and a half hours. Last time I went, there were 30 people shoved in two rows. The rest were empty!

So please if you are in the business of filling a space with people, spread things out a bit. Your brain has worked this out, as the few cells you have are obviously well spread in your cranium!

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