I'm an individual... so let's paint it black


Is the color black thought of as chic when it is the default choice for people with no imagination? You can stand out as much as you like you like when you travel. The diva in a silk shirt, sunglasses and scarves, a wannabe rap star with Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana labels or simply Mr.& Mrs. Retired from Boston, she in a fetching twin set and pearls and he in a tweed suit. But nearly everyone has a black suitcase. Why? The one time you do want something to stick out, is on the conveyor belt of endless luggage spat out at baggage claim. Maybe airlines could change the colors of the check-in baggage labels to match blocks of seat rows? I know some people put a ribbon on the handle or a big sticky Smiley Face on the side, but a guy parading through customs with that is screaming to the officials: "I am a drug dealer. Stop me and feel free to search every bodily cavity..." Jet lagged and grabbing a black bag I am amazed I have never returned to my hotel to open a suitcase full of lingerie or kids school clothing (OK once but that was my suitcase....weird girlfriend) or much worse a nun returned to her convent with my suitcase. Try and explain that content to Mother Superior! However the fault really is with the suitcase manufacturers. It's either boring black, ‘bloodshot-eye’ red, ‘arrest-me’ fuchsia, ‘suffocate’ blue or a yellow so loud you can hear it scream as it's unloaded from the plane. Samsonite designers must think subtle is what you become with yoga. Checks might be nice or patterns, even different colored top and bottom. Instead they offer a color palette from a child's paint by numbers book. And while I am talking suitcases, consistency on zip start and finish as well as direction would be nice. Have you ever been able to open every layer or pocket on a suitcase with one fluid movement per zip? Never. How about different colored zips for different pockets on the case.....and all either zip clockwise or counterclockwise?

...and another thing

LP records (as in vinyl) would occasionally offer a special edition in another color (famously white LPs with the Beatles White Album) but today nearly everything to do with the actual clutter you need to listen to music or watch entertainment such as remote, amplifier, speakers, DVD/CD player, TV, cable or Satellite box is colored black. The manufacturers will of course say along with silver (which on techno-toys runs black a close second) they need a neutral color to match people’s décor. Balls. When fridge manufacturers started offering different colors to b-b-b-boring white, sales shot up! Without color I may as well live in a mud wattle or Castle Dracula with the Count himself.

...and another thing

70% of people say the color of the car is in the top three priorities when buying, yet 19% of all cars sold last year were black! In the 1960’s it was around 5%.  I suppose tripping out you wanted a psychedelic car…..or maybe headlights were so crap back then you just had a bigger chance of being hit at night in a black car!

However some things have progressed. When I started diving everyone looked like a porpoise as dive suits were all black, few now are. Men all trudged off to weddings in the same black coat and tails, whereas now at least at weddings things are brighter. Whoever thinks wearing a black coat and tails at a June wedding is suitable attire obviously poaches eggs in his underpants.

Still it’s a shame that nun’s habits don’t come in other colors nor the shirt of your typical parson. I think a salmon pink nun and a priest with an electric blue Cassock might liven up the Sunday service.

Much as I adore the little black dress or shiny Oxford wing tips, I really must try harder as the color of my i-Phone, my i-Pad, my car, my two dogs, my TV, my hifi, my wifi, my wallet, my saucepans, the keyboard I am typing on, my mouse, my mousepad, my vacuum cleaner and even my thong is ….. you guessed it

Go Back

Add a comment: