Legs eggs and stupid regs


Is Easter so weird? In reality of course it commemorates the trial and death of Jesus Christ. Yet in a deft bit of marketing mixed with heathen tradition it has become all about birth, sex, spring and chocolate eggs. Of course to kick all this off we have all the Mardi Gras parades, the hottest of which is of course the Rio Carnival. I have the utmost respect for the Brazilian Catholic’s. They managed to turn the beginning of 40 days of fasting mixed with sackcloth and ashes into a bacchanalian extravaganza. In fact during the carnival things really do go with a bang. The amount of cocaine consumed is so vast that there are discernible traces in the air! No wonder even your grannie can samba for a week non stop.

...and another thing

After Lent we crash full time into Easter. Any little green men observing us from a saucer would conclude this is an eating frenzy centred around worshipping rabbits that mate with hens who lay chocolate eggs.

Don’t get me wrong. If Lady Fate pointed a gun at my head saying chose between giving up booze or bar of Green and Blacks finest, its no contest. I would become a tea totaler no doubt heading towards becoming diabetic!

However, like with Christmas, we have kind of lost the plot.

...and another thing

In some parts of the world the regulations about what you do over Easter have got really twisted.

If you like your piety mixed with a dose of pain go spend Easter in the Philippines. There you can enjoy a week-end of self flagellation and even top it off with your own crucifixion.

The #Metoo campaign or any followers or Maquis de Sade needs to focus on Czech Republic and Slovakia. Easter Monday men and boys roam the street with beribboned willow switches looking for girls to whip!

Or maybe Hungary where girls dress up in costumes only to be soaked by men. If scandalous rumours are to be believed any of these might appeal to the occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue…

In Haux in France they whip up an omelette of 4,500 eggs for 1,000 people to tuck into in the main square.

And in Papua New Guinea where chocolate is hard to find, trees in front of churches are decorated with tobacco and cigarettes which are handed out for free in the service!

So there you have it. A religious break with various forms of sadomasochistic rites and enough cholesterol and cigarettes to give you only a 50/50 chance of making it to the next year’s one.

Happy Easter!

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