Orgies are overrated


Ever since some Roman Oligarch came up with the idea of a vomitorium, have orgies have gone down hill? In this little cubicle there was a flowerpot full of feathers with which you could tickle the back of your throat, throw up then go back to eating and fornicating with an empty stomach so you could start eating again… but with breath that could strip wallpaper. I mean would you snog a puke smelling orgy participant, even if it was Bradus Pittus or Angelina Jolia? The orgies from the Ottoman’s must have been as exciting as watching paint dry. One bloke, the Sultan, and dozens of members of his harem. I suspect the whole shebang lasted five minutes with most of the girls just casual observers till the Grand Vizir, seeing his Lord and master already spent, called for a time out with a round of backgammon and some squares of Turkish delight. A male fantasy but in reality all over before all the ‘toys’ have been unwrapped.

...and another thing

More modern versions such as Burlisconi’s notorious bunga bunga parties would have been as sexy as cold rice pudding. Can you imagine that Italian beached whale running around with allegedly only a goldfish between his legs, while Putin lectured the girls that it was fake news that he suffered from  premature ejaculation?

Allegedly Dominique Khan was a willing participant in orgies but again in the nude he has the physique of melting ice-cream. How could anyone join in with any enthusiasm knowing he or she had to share a bed with a French Tellytubby?

And if visiting a men’s pee-house is anything to go by, all the guys would be spending half their time glancing at other gentlemen’s sausages in a miasma of insecurity and envy. No. Bedroom activities are far better confined to one couple so at least any embarrassment is kept to a minimum and a partners demands for strange sexual peccadillos are kept to only two people… unless you fall foul of a secret video recorder.

...and another thing

It would appear that the only true value of an orgy is subsequent blackmail. It is a mystery to me how one minute all we heard about Jeffrey Epstein’s orgies with his houses and grounds so covered in security cameras that you could not pick your nose without someone recording it. Yet, throughout Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial and even Prince Andrew’s legal floundering, everything could have been sorted out with a few judicious video clips.

I have a theory here.

1) The hard drives the FBI seized contain nothing

2) The hard drives the FBI seized contain nothing but the real ones exist and are now held by a foreign power to blackmail those involved

3) The FBI have those video files and have absolutely no intention of releasing them to the public. Far better to be able to blackmail politicians, Princes, Kings, Sheikhs, Emirs, sports heroes, movie stars and leaders of industry and tech for the FBI’s own benefit.

My bet is 3 as 1 is absurd and 2 would mean the FBI would need to release the names to degrade and devalue the leverage by a third party.

One thing is certain. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman got it right in Eyes Wide Shut.

Keep your mask on… though when Cruise used the lower kids urinal rather than the grown up one due to not being able to wear lifts in his slippers, it have been a giveaway!

Stay safe

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