It seemed like a good idea at the time...


Do I sometimes try so hard to make myself look stupid when so many other people would do it for free? I have recently had one of those bumps in the road when what seemed like a brilliant investment opportunity may just have become a life lesson. “Would you like some cheese to go with that whine,” my wife asked me as I moaned about possible loss of face, time and money. The fact is, if you are an entrepreneur you only have to bat 51%. I suppose I can at least smile when I remember some of the howlers Dragons Den have made... turning down TangleTease which is now worth £200m! Still the next project is looking very good.....

...and another thing

Fancy dress’ ranks right up there alongside Morris dancing and barium enema as the two scariest words in the English language. Nothing you choose to wear can ever make you look chic… unless you are Cher.

This Christmas my wife persuaded me to dress as an Elf. I did spot a guy looking so cool the air temperature dropped when I approached. He was dressed in a suit sipping a martini and had ‘fu*k’ written in tiny purple ink letters on one side of his nose.

 Who did you come as”, I asked this guy?

“F*ck knows (nose),” he replied with a sigh.

One to remember.

...and another thing

Curry. When did I decide that part of showing what a dude I am meant ordering curry with a thermonuclear heat measurement? I pretend I am loving each spoonful of Satan’s gravel when in fact my sweating purple face tells another story.

“In like fire and out like a cactus,” I think is what you need to remember when it comes to eating fiery curry.

...and another thing

Your friends are meant to stop you looking like a geek. Mine on the other hand are dedicated to the opposite. The list is endless from assuring me when drunk and wanting to impress a girl that I resemble John Travolta on the dance floor (but from Hairspray, not Saturday Night Fever) to telling me a rather overweight woman at a dinner party was pregnant and to congratulate her on her impending new born.

But the best ‘it seemed a good idea at the time’ I heard of was when 20th Century Fox were penny pinching on a new movie and decided that in exchange for a $20,000 cut in his directing fee they would sign over all the Licensing and Merchandising rights of the movie to the Director. He was George Lucas. The Star Wars Licensing and Merchandising Revenue is $3billion and rising….

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