Stop. Open wide. Swallow. And be grateful


Are some of my health pills the size of an ice hockey puck and more difficult to swallow than a politician’s promises?

After my recent bout of infection following surgery, I was taking enough pills to sound like a maraca. This has now reduced to about twenty a day, a significant amount of which are health and supplement pills. Some are the size of an M&M, some covered in gel (I know Vegans hate gel) but a significant number are the size of a Buick and have no coating. Surely technology can get these down to a reasonable size… or it is just marketing. Make it look like you are getting something for your money!

...and another thing

When I was a nipper, all medicines were hard to swallow; either because they tasted like a bus driver’s sock or were impossible to get down your esophagus. Disprin is stuck in my memory as being easier to swallow than a fish with scales. But as I grew medicines became more palatable and pills got smaller. I can even remember seeing the first contraceptive pills. They were the size of fava bean, now they are the size of a grain of rice.

Yet throughout this development health stores insist on providing chalky white bombs.

...and another thing

Whilst some things remain large, other foods have shrunk. Top of the list of things that have got smaller but still cost the same is Toblerone chocolate. Once that famous triangle box contained mountain peaks as closely packed as a toast rack. Now you get about a third of the number and the bar looks like the gum line and missing teeth from a redneck. And multipacks are even worse. One Cadbury Wispa bar is 36g but a multi pack of four, hey presto they are 30g each.  And it’s not only food. Loo paper is the same. Charmin loo paper apparently used to have 650 squares. It’s now half that and to add insult to injury, smaller squares. On a side note, is there anything more useless than a single square of loo paper?

...and another thing

I am still amazed though at some of the things we gladly put in our mouth and swallow. (You, the smirking reader. There’s always someone with a mind like a sewer).

I mean oysters. Who first thought they would be a good idea raw? Or lemon and salt with Tequila? Still, with it being near November I have already made both the Christmas pudding and Christmas cake. Neither of which my American wife would ever consider putting in her mouth, no matter how prettily I said,

“Open wide”.

Stay safe.

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