Summer’s over… time for a holiday!


Travel in August? The wonderful thing about living somewhere warm, safe and sunny is friends and family need little persuading to come and visit. The problem about living somewhere warm, safe and sunny is friends and family need little persuading to come and visit. The revolving turnstile of visitors each bring dietary and booze requirements, want sightseeing tours, shopping trips to craft villages and go to our favourite restaurants. These all need to be methodically ticked off again and again and again. I think I know word for word the excellent film about Malta called the Malta Experience and verbatim the menu at Cent’ Anni in Għargħur. Our French Bulldog Clouseau suggested to me that dog friendly revelers are always put in the same seats at the dinner table to short cut the two days for him working out who will sneak him a snack at the table, who is a messy eater and drops tidbits on the floor and who will greet his inquiring snout with a smack. As for accessories we are as good as Circuit City with a collection of chargers that fit every phone and computer as well as plug adaptors that can run a hairdryer from Hungary to a make-up mirror from Macau.

...and another thing

During this summer I also had to make several trips for business. If you don’t have to travel at peak time why would you? Between hopscotching around puddles of puke from the Benidorm revelers, avoiding being run over by hyperactive kids on those suitcases with wheels, to endless queues caused by airport border control who seem surprised when a plane load of people turn up to disturb their tea and biscuits, summer travel is as much fun as a salmonella sandwich.

If I had to work with tourists from June to September by August I would be ready for mass murder! My local bar told me some frustrated Englishman the colour of condemned veal came in with two kids complete with flippers and masks and demanded…

“Which beach is nearest the sea?”

Another irate tourist was complaining at the number of fireworks that go off to celebrate a number of feast days in August and rang my local police station.

“Surely the fireworks on Guy Fawkes night (the traditional day in England for fireworks) is enough. Tell these people to stop!”

My favourite instance however of ‘hand me a gun and let me shoot these idiots’ was from a Manager of a beautifully refurbished palace that is now a premier hotel.

It had been booked for a wedding and he got a complaint from the bride and groom about the bathroom in their honeymoon suite.

“There is nothing romantic in having two toilets in one bathroom. We want to move to a better fitted suite.”

The bathroom in question had one loo and next to it… a bidet!

Safe travels. We will be taking a break in November!

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  1. Amanda Cadisch says:

    As always , to the point and so true .
    Saw Chris Bucknell today and your beautiful car . We went on the USA Tour in August which was so much fun escaping the
    ‘ Benidorm ‘idiots !!
    Hope all well with you
    Amanda and Simon

  2. clare says:

    Always enjoy your weekly to you and Kirste x

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