The only time it is acceptable to wear a tag is on your toe in the morgue

Why...

Do people dress like they are an advertising billboard?

If you have to yell at people you are wearing a Dolce and Gabbana top, a Gucci jacket, Louis Vuitton bag or La Perla knickers you must be more insecure than a Labour candidate in an upcoming U.K. by-election.

Not only are you insulting the intelligence of those around you, you broadcasting that you are a tasteless oaf to those within 50 yards of you.

From the designers point of view they cannot believe their luck. Here they are charging like the Light Brigade at $250 for a T shirt that cost them less than $5, and their high end and sometime influencer clientele is advertising the fact for free!

...and another thing

Of course there are times we do it inadvertently. I remember giving a very serious presentation to a group of VCs only to find my new suit not only had a tag still sticking out of my collar but the spare button in a plastic bag hanging from my jacket pocket.

“ Nice suit,” someone remarked at the end of the meeting. “Did you put it on in the lift coming here?”

On seeing the double gaff I hopefully recovered with…

“Damn, no. I got in on approval and returning to Neiman Marcus after the meeting. All my money has gone into the business.” It got a laugh and eventually $250m dollars!

Equally embarrassing are the stickers people forget to unpeel from the soles of their new shoes. For some reason these things take on a hypnotic quality and once I see them I have to stare until I can decipher the price, make and shoe size!

...and another thing

The extreme of this is of course number plates. There is a hysterical video doing the rounds at the moment of an Ozzie comedian dressed as a Citizen Infringement Officer stopping cars with number plates like BMW WOW or NSX 5EX and on a souped up Toyota Supra… Drif7n.

“I am stopping you because your number plate is offensive to good taste. Do you think that number plate reads Drifting? It doesn’t. Here is a fine of A$100 for being a twat.”

I laughed out loud until my wife pointed out my 280 SL Mercedes Pagoda number plate is MNG 280.

Twat indeed. Guilty as charged.

Take care.

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