Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder... the f*#k you got it!


Are stars listed for goods and services that mean utter bullsh*t? Let’s start with the supernova of stars, the seven star hotels in the Gulf. According to the Hotel Star Registry, there is no such thing as a seven star hotel. Well guys, I hate to tell you, the Burg al-Arab boasts them. Hard to miss it. It’s the third highest building in the world. The fact no one challenges this self aggrandising nonsense is a clear example of how the rating system is abused globally. Technically I believe the star rating system was started by the Forbes Travel Guide, formerly Mobil Travel Guide, which launched its star rating system in 1958. The  AAA and their affiliated bodies use diamonds instead of stars to express hotel and restaurant ratings levels. However, although many countries have legal requirements for star designation, others do not. This makes a mockery of the whole system. A four star hotel in say London or New York is in a different league to one in some islands in Southern Europe or Africa. To qualify to be five star you need to have shops on hand available to buy essentials. However there is nothing to say a vending machine would meet that requirement... and in some countries they do! In China saunas and spas are not a requirement to get five stars but a room to play cards and mahjong is! In Mongolia I assume you need somewhere to tether your Yak whereas in London it’s an underground car park.

...and another thing

I never trust anyone who boasts five star service. Do they honestly expect you to believe other service providers are rated one, two, three or four Stars? Of course not!

...and another thing

The only thing that makes me laugh more than the self serving star ratings from on demand streaming movie services are the book ones.

A few numbskulls who have little else to do with their lives than pontificate over a book, which they read using a forefinger and moving their lips. These self important illiterates get a platform to tell the world the merits of what they have just ploughed through. Pu-lease. Spare me from amateur reviewers.

In fact I think reviewers reviews should be rated. Perhaps not with a ⭐️ but with a ?.

Hello…. a light has just gone on!  I think a pooh rating would be much better than a star. How about a new travel, restaurant, hotel and airline review book?

The pooh review. It’s gonna be a bestseller…….

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