Vital academic study shows The Hulk has piles


Are academics allowed to waste resources on utterly pointless research.

The University of Queenstown have been working diligently on the health issues of Marvel Superheroes. Yup that’s right, they spent hours of University time to come to the following conclusions after reviewers watched 24 Marvel films… the superheroes would all face chronic conditions in old age. The Hulk’s excessive weight and permanent anger means he is at risk to a series of diseases, from heart attacks and dementia to maybe piles. Black Widow’s traumatic childhood means she is at increased risk of becoming physically and mentally ill. Spider Man works at night as a teenager which means he is not getting the recommended eight hours of sleep which leads to health problems, obesity and unintentional injuries. So now it’s woke problems that affect fictional characters. Anger, lack of eight hours sleep and traumatic childhood. You couldn’t make this up… well, you don’t need to. It’s research into made up people. Academics have gone loopy.

...and another thing

Students at Durham University took offence at the views of The London Times columnist Rod Liddell. The Times for God’s sake, not some smutty pamphlet. They walked out on his debate and have blackballed him from ever coming back. The whole lot need to be given six of the best and made to stand in a corner with a D on their head. For Dunce as well as Democracy. What has happened to us?

“Either agree with me or off with your head.”

...and another thing

They need to take a leaf out of the most unPC actor of his generation, John Wayne. Even I find some of the things he said unpleasant. However, I was fascinated to read the hugely left wing Director of the Cowboys, Mark Rydell was forced by the studio to take Wayne as the lead.

Wayne was a political anathema to him so he went to the big man’s ranch for a meeting expecting them to fight immediately. Instead Wayne said they both had opposing views in politics but the same views on making movies. They never clashed during the whole shoot. As the big man once famously said.

“I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand.”

...and another thing

Whilst living in LA, there was a huge research undertaken at USF (University of San Francisco) about suicides jumping from The Golden Gate Bridge. They concluded that as over 90% of suicides were from the side looking out to sea, it was an act of hope. The last thing the victims saw was the horizon of a new future rather than see the City that had caused them so much grief. Sadly this multi million dollar research was derailed when someone pointed out there is only a pavement/walkway on the side of the bridge looking out to sea. To jump from the other side would require a car, then stopping, holding up traffic, clambering over the structure before being able to jump.

Maybe we should commission research as to which University has had the stupidest research programmes. The only thing I am sure of is the list of candidates will be longer than an airport queue during covid.

Keep well.

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