When did you last read The Dark Nag?


Are we bullied and scared of calling things by their actual name? I understand that for the new feature film of Enid Blighton’s ‘Noddy’ being undertaken by the normally clear headed Steven Spielberg, he has been forced to change the name of Noddy's best friend Big Ears! The reason? It is thought potentially offensive to call someone by his physical appearance. Really??? So what happens to other literary favourites such as Black Beauty, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Hop-along Cassidy, Blind Pugh, Iron Man, Richie Rich or Big Bird? Do they now become The Dark Nag, Melanin impoverished Young Lady and her Vertically Challenged Friends, Mr. Cassidy and his Moderate Walking Disability, Poorly Sighted Pugh, The man with Ferrite Extensions, Economically Maximised Richard and Altidudinally Endowed Bird? This is just wrong. Stop it. We must take things in context not apply our current views. Yes ‘Mammy Two Shoes’ in Tom and Jerry is a stereotype that is unattractive in many ways now, but at the time of writing and production Fred Quimby and his team were not meaning to cause anything other than affection and laughter. Obviously there exists unpleasant and hateful writings since the beginning of time but being able to see them as written is a far better deterrent than whitewashing over it all now. I don’t want a sanitised ‘Mein Kampf’ nor rantings from revolutionaries with their misguided thoughts toned down for better digestion. I am a grown up and can make my own decisions if presented with the facts.  

...and another thing

On the one hand newspapers complain about this language, yet are not averse to doing the same themselves. Obituaries are littered with them. ‘Life-long bachelor’ meaning a gay man, ‘convivial’ a drunkard, ‘did not suffer fools’ a foul temper, ‘lived life to the full’ a drug-guzzling sex fiend.

Television news is the same. ‘Unnamed sources’ means a drunken politician talked too much at lunch, someone ‘resigned to spend more time with the family’ has been fired and we now know that ‘extreme rendition’ is nothing to do with singing a rude song but bundling terrorists over the border to have a car battery attached to their balls.

Perhaps President Nixon and his team had the best ones. An ‘operative statement’ meant the truth while ‘inoperative ones’ were howling lies!

So perhaps life would be simpler if we told the truth and kept language straight and simple. Yes it would shorten talks with diplomats who love euphemisms and going in circles ‘Diplomacy being the art of letting the other side have your own way’ but I prefer things right on the nose. Donald Trump is not ‘reality challenged’ but rather an utterly loony and Heidi Fleiss and her girls were not ‘body entrepreneurs’ but hookers!

Now where’s my copy of Margaret Mitchells epic about Rhett and Scarlett ‘Gone with the sphincter whistle……’

Happy Thanksgiving to my ex-colonial readers!

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  1. Les Mis says:

    “Mein Kampf ” copywrite soon up – possibly available on”Mein Kindle” in January.”Mein God” I’ll be downloading hop along Cassidy! Not dat muck!

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