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All posts in category: Sex

Just pack it in...

  • July 3, 2017
  • Kids/Family/Relations Sex Travel/Nature
  • View all 0 Comments
Why...

Do I take clothes on holiday I never wear? When my wife proof reads this article there is a high chance I shall be sleeping in the bath tonight at our next hotel destination... except of course I couldn't fit in as it will be full of cosmetics, dirty clothes, new shoes, etc, etc. My gorgeous wife would look wonderful in a sack (assuming it had a Prada logo on it) but to please me she likes to pack a different outfit for each evening. She argues logically that I too need to take a suitable variety of clothes. So I end up with enough costume changes to keep Madonna happy on a World Tour. I should be grateful my wife makes such an effort instead of complaining about suitcases the size of the Hindenberg. What I am really grateful for is neither of us like winter sports as at least flimsy summer stuff takes up less room than the Mr. Bibendum (Michelin tyre man) outfits needed for apres-ski.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

A recent opinion poll listed Usain Bolt as the slowest man and Mary Poppins as a love Goddess...

  • March 10, 2017
  • Entertainment/Media/Arts Fasion Health & Beauty Food & Drink Sex
  • View all 0 Comments
Why...

Do we bother to have polls which ask meaningless questions and provide useless opinions? Opinions only matter if they are a result of a relevant set of facts given to experts to make a judgement on. Bolt of course comes bottom of the speed list if the others are Superman, The Flash, and Lewis Hamilton in a Grand Prix car. Mary Poppins trounces Mother Theresa, Medusa or Chancellor Angela Merkel on a beauty list of women with the letter M. It was budget day in the UK on Wednesday and I was listening to the results of a Sky Poll that asked the question “What should the Chancellor do with a minor windfall from a small shoot of recovery from new businesses? Should he spend it on:

A) The NHS (hurrah hurrah),

B) Social Services (yeyyyy),

Or

C) Cut the rate of Corporation Tax (boo, hiss)?”

Giving money to Social Services is not binary to giving tax breaks. We all want to look after those less fortunate. However, to offer either giving more to  welfare or granting business a tax cut, is a question of such naiveté  that it makes believing in a unicorn an incontrovertible scientific fact.

Lesson 101 basic social economics. You can only afford to give more if you earn more. UK corporate taxes are too high compared to others and so act as a disincentive. Let’s encourage growth, take a short term hit by lowering current corporation tax and soon there will be an increase in tax revenue. Bingo! Then give out more money from a bigger pot.

"Would you like the Chancellor to increase the debt for your children or wait a couple of years and then spend more on hospitals etc. as well as reduce your debt?"

Put like that you might get a different opinion. Or...  not as no one understands the question!

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

Love thy neighbour... but only after you have moved

  • October 27, 2016
  • Animals/Pets Life Sex
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Are neighbours the source of so much pain? I understand that one in five people have disputes with their neighbour. What surprises me is one in five don't murder them! What is it about living in close proximity that brings out character traits that would test a saint! I once had a neighbour who clamped my car while parked on the tarmac strip in front of my own garage!  Apart from wanting to recommend him to a vivisectionist, I was at a loss at why a perfectly rational human being could morph into a manic traffic warden with nothing better to do than skulk behind twitching nett curtains on the look out for unwanted visitors. Sill, forgive and remember is my motto. Next he objected to lights on the driveway that came on when I reversed out as the bulbs 'invaded his personal space'. The fact I was trying to avoid turning one of his offspring into a fajita was irrelevant! The feuding and snipping went on until he went bust and had to move. I cried for days... with tears of joy! Once I lived next to a pub with a garden that bordered with my own. I only left the landlord a note of complaint once. Dear Landlord,  I wonder if you could ask your customers to smoke their cigarettes down to the butt before flicking them into my garden. The dogs tend to try and smoke half used ones and I am trying to get them to quit. Never had another problem. And got a case of beer as an apology!

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

Ear ye, ear ye....

  • August 4, 2016
  • Animals/Pets Entertainment/Media/Arts Kids/Family/Relations Sex
  • View all 1 Comment
Why...

Does the humble ear only get credited as being one of the six senses. It is so much more... Sex. No, I'm not talking sound here. Please watch the delightful French movie The Untouchables about the millionaire paraplegic Philippe and his driver/manservant, Driss. It's a wonderful movie despite its backdrop of the ashes of living after such a disabling accident. It is in fact an utter affirmation of the joys of life. In it, the fondling and rubbing of Philippe's earlobes is his only sensory pleasure and to him on a par with sex!  So the ear is also a sexual organ.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

Beep ♫. I am sorry you have passed your sell by date

  • April 14, 2016
  • Food & Drink Life Sex
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Do we insist on putting meaningless sell-by dates on foods? For example, honey does not spoil. Indeed some amphora of honey were discovered in a burial tomb in Egypt and the content was perfectly edible. The golden liquid was put in the jar centuries before the founders of Tesco or Safeway were an itch in their father’s underpants. My supermarket salt has a sell by date on it. Doh! Whether it came from the Red Sea or the Bay of Biscay it has been round for longer than you or I. My wife and mother –in-law are obsessed by sell by dates and won’t have a word said against them. I am sure if I put a bunch of rocks in a bag with a sell by date on them and left them in the fridge, they would be gone on the appointed day! I try to explain that if this time frame argument had any validity we would all be paying more for a 2016 California Zinfandel than a fusty old 1945 bottle of Petrus, let alone US$225, 000 for a 1787 bottle of Margaux.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

Is it true love, or are you being checked up on?

  • April 8, 2016
  • Life Love Sex Technology
  • View all 0 Comments
Why...

Are we so naïve when it comes to love in the modern world? The other day I was standing at a tube station as a young couple waited for a train. The two were locked in a passionate embrace with much hoovering of tonsils and wandering hand syndrome. As the tube pulled in the girl broke away with a sob and boarded. Her paramour stood on the platform tearfully waving the train goodbye. It was quite touching. A minute after the love of his life left, another girl popped out of the waiting room. “Has the bitch gone?” she asked as she grabbed the young man’s hand and they ran to the exit and no doubt a waiting bed! Not a tearful farewell then from our lothario but just checking for certain one girl had left and was not coming back for a while. But I’m convinced the pretty girl on the tube will definitely find out. We all leave far too many electronic echoes of what we get up to. The digital age may indeed open up the possibility of flirtations on the side with everything from Grinder to Ashley Madison but I assume those very things also make it nearly impossible to cover those infidelities up. Your Satnav will have an entry to some love bolt hole and your credit card bill will show charges for a restaurant. Have you even tried to pay in cash recently for a meal? They look at you with more suspicion than a customs officer greeting a plane load of students from Colombia. Your partner can easily see phone bills and notice those tell-tale unknown recurring numbers, read your email and see friends’ updates on Facebook (my wife while proofreading this added that last one- enough said). Your partner will flick through your text messages and photos if you leave your phone lying around. Top prize for being a dummy goes to Congressman Weiner for taking pictures on your phone. Now your wife needs to check up on that as well!. Though why any young lady would want a photo of a gentleman’s sausage if he was actually called wiener only demonstrates the clarity of modern phones photography or the sad lure of being a politician in today’s America! Everything you do is traceable and if you lock a partner out of that data alarm bells ring so loud your hearing gets affected.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

What is rss? "rss" is about getting live web feeds
directly to your computer.