I talk to machinery - sometimes it answers back
Why...
Do I give inanimate objects a personality? When Basil Fawlty from sitcom Fawlty Towers scolds his car and warns it if it does not start he would give it ‘a damn good thrashing’ then proceeds to attack it with a tree trunk, I can’t help but laugh. Not because of Fawlty but I believe the car didn’t start out of its own sheer bloody-mindedness. As a petrolhead, I have owned a wide variety of cars over the years. Some I used to talk to on long drives, discussing everything from sex to politics. Others I barely grunted at, certain they had a perverse desire to tip me into the nearest hedgerow and get a different owner. Only very few did I not communicate with at all. Those lasted the shortest time in my ownership. The attribution of emotion to inanimate objects might seem daft, but in fact it covers up a multitude of sins. Lawnmower won’t start? It’s because it’s pissed about being dirty; not the reality of you buying a duff brand. By giving ‘things’ a soul, you give them an ‘excuse’ for not always working for other reasons than just being not a good choice. It’s a backstop for my ego. “Darling, the oven switched off halfway through cooking the turkey, not because I set the timer wrong but because it didn’t like the oven cleaner you used last time. Christmas lunch will now be Christmas dinner.”
